Murphy’s Law is the phenomenon of “anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” No matter how much planning you do or how valiant an effort you put into something, there will always be something that will never go your way.

At Penn State, examples of Murphy’s Law can be experienced in every aspect of college life. We brainstormed some instances that are perhaps the most prevalent and frustrating. 

Your ID Will Not Scan First Try At The Gym

Whether it be the White Building, IM Building, Rec Hall, or even McCoy Natatorium, it is certain that your ID will not scan the first time around. Sometimes the card is facing the wrong direction. Sometimes it’s moving at the wrong speed. But I’m convinced that even if you give it a perfect swipe, there is a higher power that will deny it regardless.

This semester, many of the campus gyms have replaced the traditional swipe system with tap technology. Students now can touch their card or phone to the device, where it will supposedly open the glass doors. However, Murphy’s Law is far too powerful for the Penn State architects and engineers to combat. When I first tried the new system, even my tap was rejected on the first try. Don’t let this phenomenon get in the way of the grind, Penn State.

The Person You Sit Next To In Class Will Have A Cold

Every time you enter a lecture hall and choose a seat, it is a near guarantee that the person behind you or next to you will be coughing. The class could be in Thomas 100 and have over 700 seats, but look no further than one seat over to find the single person who is under the weather. It doesn’t matter where you sit. It could be at the front of the room or back, left side or right. Your immune system must be ready to fight the inevitable.

But Murphy’s Law doesn’t stop there. If you are about to leave on vacation, have a big test coming up, or maybe it’s White Out week, expect the cough to be even more intense. Or, worse yet, you’ll be stuck in between two people with the PS-Flu who are seemingly only in class to foil your weekend plans.

If You Need The Blue Loop, It Will Be On The Other Side Of Campus

Whenever you are on a walk, you are bound to cross paths with the Blue Loop. At every part of campus, at every intersection, you find yourself passing the bus on the daily. Except when you need it most. If you have to get to the other side of campus quickly, the Blue Loop is nowhere to be found. If it’s snowing outside and you’d prefer to take the bus, expect the maximum wait time. There could be three buses running at once, and they would all somehow be right behind one another at the far corner of the university. And when it finally arrives, the bus will be packed. Somehow, everyone was able to get on it before you.

If You Bring A Sweatshirt To The Game, It Will Be Hot. If You Don’t, It Will Be Freezing

Folks, Mother Nature will never be on your side. Neither will the forecast. I would like to use two games from this season to prove this instance of Murphy’s Law. The Illinois game kicked off under the lights at Beaver Stadium. As one might expect for a night game in late September, the forecast indicated that it would be a brisk night in Happy Valley. Planning accordingly, I wore three layers: two T-shirts and a sweatshirt. Fast forward to the middle of the first quarter, and I’m sweating my ass off. I’m not sure if it was the temperature prediction that completely missed the mark, or maybe it was the “White Out…energy,” but I was consequently forced to stand in the student section with two shirts wrapped around my waist.

On the other hand, the Ohio State game was supposed to be a relatively warm November afternoon. With temperatures supposed to be reaching the 60s, I decided to only go with a T-shirt and sweatshirt. Sitting in Beaver Stadium that day felt like I was braving the Arctic Circle. My hands were numb, everyone in my row was shivering, and I had nothing I could put on that would warm me up. I guess the temperature scale on Saturdays is measured differently.

Your Tailgate Is In The Opposite Direction

Get ready to learn Beaver Stadium parking lots. Trying to find a tailgate is like trying to locate the exit at an IKEA. Pair miles of grass fields with zero cell service, and you already have your first challenge of the day. When wandering aimlessly with a group of friends, there is always one impatient person who decides that it’s best to pick a random direction and start walking.

In hopes of finding some familiar faces, the direction your friend picked will undoubtedly be the wrong one. It isn’t gameday unless you have to backtrack 10 rows of cars to finally reach your destination. And no, it doesn’t matter what direction is selected, you will never find your tailgate on the first try. Now, imagine that you have a few beers in your system. You can imagine how things can start to go downhill quickly.

If There Is Vomit On The Sidewalk, You Will Step In It

After a football Saturday, State Patty’s Day Weekend, or your average Friday night, you are bound to find some ~ fluids ~ on the ground. Let me rephrase that. They will find you. No matter where you are walking, even if there is just a small amount of vomit, you will be sure to step in them. And if it is still there the next day, the chances that you will do it again are unfortunately high. Maybe we’re all just oblivious to our surroundings.