I know you’ve all been waiting for this one. How can we know how we feel about the streets on our campus without a definitive ranking? Well, folks, your prayers have been answered.

Campus doesn’t exactly have a strict definition anymore, so I’ve confined this ranking from Atherton to University, and from Park Road to College Ave. Within that, I’ve dropped a few of the roads less traveled, and a few more that have me wondering why anyone named them in the first place.

10. Atherton Street

While not strictly a campus street, this one gives me enough walking-to-class anguish that I had to drop it in. For those of us who live on the other side of the four-lane behemoth that is Atherton Street, figuring out how to cross it is always on our minds.

There are a few nice crosswalks, but they always require some sacrifice of a quick route. I avoid the on-campus crosswalk at all costs for fear of being stuck in the middle. All in all, this street sucks for pedestrians.

9. Allen Street (North)

What a lame excuse for a street. I’m not entirely sure why it’s even called Allen, besides being sort of in line with the real one. After a half mile of no street, you’d think they’d just pick a different name, but no.

Allen Street mostly made it on this list because I wanted to make fun of it compared with its big brother: downtown Allen Street. Frankly, I didn’t even know it was called Allen until I started writing this article. I will give it points for being near the library, though.

8. Pollock Road

Pollock Road cuts through the heart of our campus, so it may seem odd to place it so low. It’s nothing the street did itself, of course, it’s one of the nicer ones, with brick sidewalks and a road eternally blocked from (most) cars. In the summer, it’s probably a dream!

But, of course, there’s never a moment that a billion people aren’t walking on it. This street passes the HUB, the back of Old Main, gives a nice view of the library, and shoots all the way to the Millennium. Not to mention all of my classes are on it.

Pollock gets such a low score for its traffic, but also for the absurd layout. There are several boom gates (look it up, I just found out what those are called) for some reason, and there’s always something blocking your progress. Not to mention the bikers. So, Pollock Road’s ranking is well deserved.

7. Bigler Road

Bigler hasn’t done anything wrong, at least not to my knowledge. It’s an icon, connecting East Halls with the rest of the world. It’s just a terrible hill. Who would ever willingly walk up that? All of the buildings on Bigler are short, so you constantly have to stare up at the obscene hill you’re trying to hike.

I will give it points for scenery, though. The Millennium lawn is always a fun place to be.

6. Old Coaly Way

Sleeper pick! Old Coaly Way, named in honor of our long-past original mascot, isn’t really a street in the normal definition. After a quick look at Google Maps, Old Coaly Way seems to branch off every which way without any knowledge of where it’s going.

Its name alone gives it a deserved place on this list, but it’s also a nice way to avoid the foot traffic from the nearby Pollock Road.

5. Shortlidge Road

Shortlidge is a road I’m fond of, even if I don’t love walking it. Like Bigler, it’s a steep hill — but at least you can’t see the whole stretch when you walk. I used to live off Shortlidge in South Halls, and that may color my opinion.

Like Allen Street before, this one does have a little gap, but this time it makes sense. We get the whole Huck Life Sciences overlook thing, plus the big seal by Thomas. As someone who only walks campus, I don’t mind the gap. The hill on the northern half, though, may have kept this guy from making it to the big leagues.

4. Mifflin Road

Mifflin’s barely a road, I’ll admit it. Its placement is probably a bit biased like Shortlidge, but Mifflin has one big thing going for it, and it has nothing to do with the sidewalk; it’s the naked run. I don’t know what it’s actually called, but any street with one gets some points in my book — that’s hilarious. That’s all I really have to say on the matter.

3. Burrowes Road

Burrowes puts in a lot of legwork for this campus, and I’m tired of it not getting its flowers. It’s got Rec Hall, the Nittany Lion, West Commons, and Westgate going for it. Not many other streets can say that, can they? It may be a hill, but I’ll give it a pass this once.

2. College Avenue

College probably isn’t considered a campus street, but I’m counting it because half is. College puts in quite a bit of legwork, spanning the entirety of campus and much further. It was one of the first streets in this town — practically all of the vintage Penn State photos have College Ave somewhere in them. Plus, it’s basically our equivalent of a strip.

1. Curtin Road

Do I even need to say anything? Curtin is what Pollock wishes it was. Just like Pollock, it cuts across the whole campus, but still maintains its poise. Practically everyone, especially on-campus students, will spend a great deal of time just walking up and down Curtin.

When your parents come to visit, where do you go? The Creamery, conveniently, on Curtin. When you have an exam in an hour that you haven’t studied for, where do you go? The library, conveniently, on Curtin. The road also connects us to both the BJC and Beaver Stadium, and at the other end, grazes Rec Hall. What can’t Curtin do? No one has an answer for that.