Welcome back, folks! We hope you had a great break, but we’re glad it’s finally over. There’s no place like State College, especially during sylly week. Cue “Zombie Nation,” start pouring the drinks, and let’s set the tone for the Spring 2026 semester!

• You heard me. Start blasting “Zombie Nation” and take a sip every time you say, “WE ARE PENN STATE!”
• If this is your last sylly week before graduation, take another shot. We’re so sorry, unc.
• Shotgun a beer if a teacher has told you this week that they “Don’t believe in sylly week.”
• Mention class tomorrow morning? That’s a double shot. (Sorry! We don’t make the rules…actually yeah, we do.)
• If it’s freezing cold out, take a sip.
  • Bonus: take a sip every time someone mentions how cold it is.
• If you saw your ex during break, take a shot and move on, buddy.
• Already missing your mom? Same. Take a shot and give her a call.
• If you’re older than 21 and still spending sylly week at the Den, get some water.
• If your syllabus says “attendance mandatory,” take a shot. It’s going to be a long semester.
• If you have a class in the Forum this week, take a shot.
• Any late classes? Take a sip.
• If a family member texts you wishing you a great first day of classes, take a sip.
• If you spent the break in another state, drink from a wine bag. Welcome back.
• If you’re at a bar and run into someone you didn’t want to see, take a sip.
• If you’re already planning on skipping a class this week… sip and reflect.
• First spring sylly week? Take a shot, you don’t understand how great this place is yet.
• If you’re an Eagles fan, I’m sorry for your loss… get some water.
• If you hear someone say “last first day,” take a shot and cry with them.
• If you miss Penn State football, even though it was a mess, take a shot.
• If all the CATA buses are full, take a shot and start walking.
• If you got lost in old Willard on the first day, take a shot.
• If you’ve used the phrase “It’s a Penn State thing” to justify drinking every day this week, take a shot.
• Every time you check Rate My Professor, take a sip.
• If you have to buy books that you’re never going to touch, take a shot.
• Professor listing Top Hat in course materials… Take a shot.
• Every time you spend money on Uber this week, take a shot.
• If you’re a professor reading this right now, take a shot. You deserve to relax as well.
• If you’ve already ignored a Canvas announcement, take a sip.

Please drink responsibly and be safe!