If you’ve followed the NBA over the last few weeks, you might have found out that one of the greatest single-game scoring performances took place last Tuesday, when Miami Heat forward Bam Adebayo scored 83 points against the lowly Washington Wizards.

Eighty-three points is a staggering sum. He’s just the third player ever to score 80 in an NBA game, and he beat Kobe Bryant’s 81-point game in 2006 as the highest since Wilt Chamberlain’s immortal 100-point game back in 1962.

And while this historic game would usually be universally celebrated, it was the manner in which it was done that made it controversial. Adebayo, who’s not known as a pure scorer, stayed in the game late in the fourth quarter of a blowout against arguably the worst team in the league and shot an NBA record 43 free throws. His teammates intentionally fouled Washington in the closing minutes. It hardly looked like a professional basketball game in the final five minutes.

If you don’t follow the NBA and don’t get what all the hullabaloo is, here are some hypothetical scenarios that are a Penn State equivalent to what Adebayo did on that historic night:

Freddie Dilione V Scoring 70 Points Against New Haven

The disparity between the best and worst teams in the NBA pales in comparison to the difference between the top and bottom of Division I basketball. Every year, we see elite teams that go on to go deep in the NCAA Tournament play bottom-feeders in buy games, and it usually ends in a huge blowout.

Penn State hoops is not close to that level in 2026, but they’re still a high-major team capable of putting the hurt on opponents. Their biggest win of the 2025-26 season came in the first week of the year, when they beat Division I newcomer New Haven by 44 points.

The Penn State single-game points record is 46 by Gene Harris in 1961. The Division I record for points in a game is 72, set by Kevin Bradshaw in 1991 for U.S. International against Loyola Marymount. There is no easy comparison to Adebayo on the current Penn State team, but Freddie Dilione V fills the role as the team’s second-leading scorer, who’s capable of big games. Who said he couldn’t have taken 40 shots across 40 minutes in a small gym in Connecticut?

Gracie Merkle Scoring 50 Points Against Coppin State

This might be the most direct comparison on this list. Gracie Merkle averaged 19.2 points per game for the Lady Lions in 2025-26 on 75.2% from the field as the team’s starting center, an ideal comparison to Adebayo.

The Lady Lions’ all-time record for points is 41 by Nicole Cardano-Hillary in 2019, and there might be no sport with a bigger disparity between Power Five teams and mid-majors than women’s basketball. Even a Lady Lions team that went 11-18 and saw head coach Carolyn Kieger get fired was able to blow out Coppin State early in the season.

Kiyomi McMiller scored 40 in a Big Ten game down the stretch, so we’ll need to raise the stakes. Kansas State’s Ayoka Lee once dropped 61 points; let’s say Merkle gets up to 50.

Rocco Becht Throwing For 600 Yards Against Marshall

Penn State’s offense under Matt Campbell figures to embrace a more dynamic passing game, so maybe we can get a record-breaking performance from experienced signal-caller Rocco Becht?

This is a sport where things can get truly crazy. Patrick Mahomes once threw for 734 yards in a game, something unfathomable in a normal football game. To get an equivalence, we’ll have to shoot a bit lower against a non-conference opponent who’s getting a big payday for a beatdown in Beaver Stadium.

The Penn State record for single-game passing yards is just 454, when Christian Hackenberg opened the James Franklin era with a bang in Ireland against UCF. What if Becht did the same in the first game of the Campbell era this September? Just air that baby out!

Matt DiMarsico Six-Goal Game Against Stonehill

Penn State men’s hockey has had a flair for scoring goals in bunches, with seven hat tricks on the season by five different players. The only player with more than one? Matt DiMarisco, who’s done it three times this season en route to his breakout season, which sees him lead the team in goals with 18.

In fact, the program’s only four-goal game ever came earlier this season when JJ Wiebusch scored four in a loss against Clarkson, but we can shoot higher. To add to the Adebayo comparison, three of DiMarsico’s goals in this scenario are empty netters. Statpadding is statpadding.

Michael Anderson Hitting Four Home Runs In A Game

The MLB record for most home runs in a game is four, shared by nearly 20 players across history. Three players did it in 2025 alone. Marshall McDougal once hit six in a game for Florida State in 1999, a record that still stands.

No Nittany Lion has ever hit more than three, but if anyone can, it’s Michael Anderson. The Arkansas transfer has easy power and put it on display with a two-homer game against St. John’s two weeks ago. Maybe he can do it on one of the Dollar Dog Nights coming up?

Penn State Wrestling Winning A Dual Meet 60-0

This might be the most attainable one on the list. After all, Cael Sanderson and company have already put up 50+ points on numerous occasions over the last few years.

The hard part is that you’d need 10 pins, forfeits, or disqualifications to pull this one off. They’ve been able to get as high as 55-0 with a bevy of technical falls, but for complete perfection, they’d probably need to face another team like Edinboro.

Actually, would it surprise anyone if they did this in conference play? They do seem to be breaking records and doing the impossible every time they step on the mat.