We’ve been writing these Overheard posts for a little more than a year now, and experienced things and places like the White Loop, the morning after, and The End Zone, to name a few. But then we realized something. We’ve never actually written an Overheard post from inside of a bar, the source of much of the debauchery we have come to chronicle.

This week, it was time to take Overheard where it has never overheard before. Here’s our latest installment of Overheard from inside “The Gaff.”

Guy in a button-up, on the phone: “Eh, we are by that tattoo place. Probably a 12-minute line… What? I’m just being realistic!”
His friend: “That is NOT realistic.”

Guy in quarter-zip: “Why is there even a line at the Gaff? The last time I was at the Gaff, I was drunk and danced with like a 40 year old Alumni.”
Friend in a green button down: “Well… It’s better than Indigo?”

Guy in quarter-zip: “Do you trust her with your hair?”
His friend: “I trust her with my life.”

Guy in line: “Apparently the ID scanners are down here, and that’s why it is taking a while… I don’t know if I believe that.”
Guy in line with him: “At the Gaff? That’s idiotic.”

Girl in zip-up hoodie: “Oh, shit! I forgot to put my fake eyelashes on!”

Guy in sweatshirt: “This line is moving, is it not? They are processing people.”

Asian guy, in response to an Asian girl in a car almost hitting another car: “Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. I can say that, because I’m Asian.”

A guy and a girl, having a conversation about May: “That is my birthday!”
Their friend: “The whole month of May? Or just one day?”

Guy in Penn State jersey, to some other girl in line: “Can you scratch my back for me?”
Girl in black shirt: “Oh, your tag is out.”
The guy whose tag was out: “Oh, that is embarrassing.”

Guy in blue shirt, to his friend: “If you cause a scene I am disassociating myself from you.”

Girl in a cat costume: “I was dressed up as a cat. Someone else has the tail though…”

Girl trying to avoid a cloud of smoke: “Did you just slap the smoke?”
Her friend: *nods enthusiastically*

Girl in Penn State jersey: “Woah, that girl has NO idea what she is doing. Look! Her boob is out!”
Guy in quarter-zip: “Hey, good for her.”

Tall guy, singing along to “Starships”: “Starshipppss meant to buyyyy.”

Guy poking his friend with a Bud Light foam finger: “Does my finger smell?”

Girl, trying to make conversation: “So where did you watch the game?”
Her friend: “In my bed…”

Guy in response to “Get Low” coming on: “White bitches love this song. Look at them point!”

Girl in black blouse, looking around: “I wonder where my hairdresser went…”

Girl dancing and inadvertently hitting a passerby: “Ohhh sorry, I just busted a move.”
Her friend: “DID YOU JUST SAY YOU BUSTED HER BOOB?!”

Girl talking to guy: “What are you on a recruiting visit for?”
The guy: “Girls.”

Guy in Longhorns hat: “Do you squat all day? ‘Cause your ass is poking out of those jeans.”

Guy sitting at a table with Jason and his friends: “Jason’s girlfriend is snap chatting me. AW YEAH!”

Girl in sparkly black top: “So she knows the one night we hooked up and I puked on him and that we stopped hooking up because I puked on him.”

Girl in black pants: “I’m never not drunk at 11 p.m.!”