New Creamery Flavor Suggestions

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We all know that the Creamery is home to more than 100 ice cream flavors, many of which are named after people or places on campus. With names like Peachy Paterno, Alumni Swirl, and my personal favorite, Death by Chocolate, it’s hard to question the creativity of the Creamery staff.

But with all of these flavors, there are sure to be people on campus that are worthy of their own flavor, right? So, we decided to create our own flavors named after some popular Penn State figures to help the Creamery prepare for the upcoming summer. Thank us later.

Franklin’s Fudge Brownie

James Franklin Coaches Caravan

Peachy Paterno is one of the Creamery’s best-selling flavors. With the football coach being one of the most recognizable faces on campus, it is only fitting that he gets his own flavor. James Franklin’s personality might call for a loud flavor, but frankly, not a single delicious ice cream flavor starts with the letter “F” other than fudge. I mean, fudge is good and all, but Franklin’s personality calls for something more fun. Hopefully Franklin sticks around long enough for some brainstorming, unlike Bill O’Brien.

Herb Hand’s Hazelnut Blend

Herb Hand

We all know Herb Hand by now, but only recently did we find out that he is set to appear on Chopped. What better way to name a flavor after the man that just exudes fine cuisine? One can only imagine a slow-roast cup of joe when eating this one, but hopefully Chris Santos agrees and doesn’t send it to the chopping block.

Mike The Mailman’s Mint Chocolate Chip

MiketheMailman2

Bittersweet Mint, move over, we have a new sheriff in town — or should I say mailman? A personality like Mike’s calls for a flavor with a little color and bright green seems to fit perfectly. Mint chocolate chip might be an existing flavor and Mike might not even like it, but if he sees you walking around with a cone of it, you better believe he’ll hand you a compliment. His celebrity reaches outside of State College, so yeah, it’s time for Mike to get his own flavor.

Barron’s Blueberry Pie

barron-2

With the Food Science Building recently being named after Rodney Erickson, you know that Dr. Barron will want his own flavor as a consolation prize. Blueberry is the obvious choice for the president, since it flows nicely and would be blue and white.

Willard Preacher Vanilla

willard-2

The man wears the same thing every day, so it seems logical to name the plainest flavor out there after him. I mean, his views will never change and he will still be there tomorrow, so why not name something after him? Vanilla is the obvious choice for the man that gets his namesake from the most boring building on campus.

Sam Richards’ “Social Experiment”

Sam Richards

Penn State’s favorite SOC 119 professor is known for his intriguing lectures and hashtags. A flavor based off of his teachings is perfect — the “social experiment” flavor would be a mystery to anyone who tried it. Think of it as that dum-dum that you are almost afraid to taste, but you take it anyway because you’re feeling risky that day. That’s his “social experiment.” #fresheyes

Squirrel Girl’s Super Almond Swirl

mary

It’s only fitting that Squirrel Girl’s flavor would include nuts since, you know, squirrels eat nuts. Acorns were obviously out of the picture, so almonds are the next best thing. Just imagine them sprinkled on top of vanilla ice cream and thank me later. Let’s just hope that the nuts used in the ice cream weren’t found on Old Main Lawn.

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About Author

Ted Hozza

Ted is a senior majoring in Community, the Environment, and Development, or as his friends here at Onward State like to call it, Architecture. You can probably find him at the Phyrst late at night with other Onward Staters if he's not somewhere else complaining. You can follow him on twitter dot com @TedHozza to read #hottakes or email him at [email protected]

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