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Onward State Presents: Real Penn State Heroes

In the same vein as those popular Bud Light radio commercials titled, “Real Men of Genius“, Onward State begins this feature today, thanking those in the Penn State community that perform jobs that are either unappreciated, thankless, or unknown.

CustodianToday we salute you. Mr./Mrs. Residence Hall Custodian.

(Mr./Mrs. Residence Hall Custodian) -Sung as in the commercials

Armed with only a mop and soapy water, you accomplish the impossible with ease.

Cleaning up vomit off the ground because some of us can’t aim.

(Get it in the toilet!)

Making sure the residents don’t get ringworm in the shower.

(Anti-fungal protection!)

Daily you deal with unappreciative students that sully the ground you just recently cleaned to perfection, but still you clean on.

Keeping the halls free of dust and emptying the trash using your superhuman strength.

(You should really recycle!)

So today is your day, Mr./Mrs. Residence Hall Custodian. ‘Cause we all know that without you, nobody else would clean this stuff up.

(Mr./Mrs. Residence Hall Custodian!)

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About the Author

Eli Glazier

Eli is a junior majoring in International Politics. He enjoys paninis and books.

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