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Your chance to vote again

gobhugemistakeI know, I know – as soon as you honor our requests to vote in an online poll, we’re back for more. But this is different; as the Collegian pointed out, I made a pledge, and now I have to own up to it.

Honestly speaking, I was stunned that we won. I didn’t expect to have to do any of this – and that makes it all the more important that I hold up my end of the bargain.

So for the next week or so (we’ll re-post all this for the last day), my fate is in your hands. After the results are decided, all of us at Onward State will hammer out the details. So vote, send it to your friends and family – anyone that might be interested in watching me vomit/reading about a certain fake University President’s sexual escapades/watch a professor awkwardly work through a lecture while trying not to acknowledge the green student taking notes.

Thanks for making us 2008’s Best Alternative News Source.

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About the Author


Mark McColey is a Senior majoring in Advertising and Labor-Employment relations. Among his loves are Penn State Football, The Steelers, The Penguins, The Simpsons, Tina Fey, and Arrested Development.

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Gorman Abruptly Resigns

Head coach of the men’s soccer program Barry Gorman unexpectedly announced his resignation Monday. He leaves a legacy of 22 years of coaching and three Big Ten titles in his wake. Citing “personal reasons,” he has left the team to a nation-wide search for his successor.

“We expected Gorman to be there,” [rising Senior and Co-Captain Andres] Casais said of next season. “He was a father figure to us.”

Oof, that can’t feel good. The move isn’t completely out of the blue, as Gorman was periodically absent during the past few weeks without notice. But from all accounts, his intention to resign was only revealed yesterday. On the abandonment scale, this registers just slightly above “going to the store for some cigarettes and never coming back.”

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