Schreyer Spies Infiltrate Creamery

scholars chipAt last, after years of scheming, the Schreyer Honors College has made its way into the hearts, minds, and stomachs of the Penn State population. I’m speaking, of course, of the new creamery flavor named in honor of the good old SHC: Scholars Chip.

Setting aside for the moment that there should probably be an apostrophe in that name somewhere, the honors college celebrated Founder’s Day by finally getting the culinary recognition they so desperately crave.
Some students are less than enthusiastic about the new addition to the list, however. Overheard in Simmons: “It perpetuates the elitist image that a lot of people already have about Schreyer kids. And besides, it’s just, like, chocolate chip ice cream. BORING.” This mysterious sophomore makes two valid points.

The first of which is a bit jarring; no other college gets its own ice cream flavor – the other specially named flavors all refer to things that the entire Penn State student body can relate to. Everyone can go to the Palmer Art Museum (Palmer Mousseum with Almonds), we will all be alumni one day (Alumni Swirl), and JoePa (Peachy Paterno) needs no justification within a 100 mile radius of State College.

The second issue at hand is the flavor itself; a small group of students are represented by a special creamery flavor, vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips. Where’s the punch? Where’s the pizzazz? I’m thinking there should definitely be some kind of fancy surprises hidden in that confection. Caviar, perhaps? Ground up Adderall? Anything besides run-of-the mill chocolate chip. As Gary McMillen, a Schreyer Sophomore in the SMEAL College of Business, put it, “I mean, they better at least be chocolate chunks.”

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Dana Kimmelman

Dana Kimmelman is a SENIOR studying Psychology and Philosophy. She hasn't updated her profile in a long time, and she knows that it's just not Snowflake Day without a lamb taco.


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