Topics

More

Graham Spanier: Amateur Movie Reviewer

A Masterful PerformanceAs if being a magician, juggler and University President weren’t enough, once again Graham Spanier has released his annual list of movie reviews. There are only twelve (compared to last year’s 17), but I feel they offer some fascinating insight into the mind of the G-Span.

First off, he respects those who use big budgets. Forget the lack of a memorable story-line or Attack of the Clones-esque terrible dialogue, Spanier gives Avatar 4 stars for being a “visual extravaganza” and called “the most expensive movie ever made” worth the price.

He also shows a fascinating interest in and ignorance of the Twilight saga. In his review, he says the following:

The first movie was actually quite good, but this second try in what threatens to be an ongoing series was disappointing.

How he hasn’t figured out that there will be two more movies no matter how godawful they are is somewhat baffling. Almost as baffling as him actually liking Twilight in the first place.

All in all, none of his ratings are particularly bold, instead sticking with what the major reviewers have said. If he really wanted to surprise us, he would have given Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel 4 stars for David Cross and Jason Lee keeping a straight face the whole movie.

What movies have you all seen this break, and what are your opinions on Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes as Batman?

[Pic]

Your ad blocker is on.

Please choose an option below.

Sign up for our e-mail newsletter:
OR
Support quality journalism:
Purchase a Subscription!

About the Author

Nick Johnson

Nick is a junior majoring in IST (the Internet) and CAS (saying things). He hopes to one day get paid to do this, but for now he is willing to do it for the fame. Besides writing for Onward State, he also puts things on the Internet here.

Staff Predictions: No. 4 Penn State vs. USC

Our staffers feel confident that Penn State will get the job done despite the cross-country travel.

Your College Big Sis: Penn State Student Riley Ruberton Growing TikTok Fame

“I think the biggest thing I’ve gotten out of it is community and the community that I’ve built.”

Penn State Football Sticking To Routine During Travel Ahead Of USC

After unprecendeted travel, the Nittany Lions are keeping things normal before their game against the Trojans.

113kFollowers
164kFollowers
61.3kFollowers
4,570Subscribers
Other posts by Nick

Southern Kitsch and Sweet Tea at Cracker Barrel

After several months of anticipation, I was finally able to check out State College’s new Cracker Barrel on its opening day. Located at 215 Colonnade Blvd., there are few surprises at the chain’s new location. With rows of rocking chairs out front, checker boards and a game of peg solitaire at every table, I could have been at any franchise location in the country — not that that’s a bad thing.

Help Us Make a Sandwich

Your Guide to UPUA Election Season