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Santorum Considers 2012 Bid, Confirms Mayan Prophecies

Rick Santorum probably shouldn't have read his urbandictionary definition out loud during this speech

Rick Santorum, a former Pennsylvania senator and all-around pleasant man, announced that he is considering running on the Republican ballot in the 2012 presidential election.

So to reiterate, a man has publicly announced that he’s thinking about doing something but isn’t sure.

The speculation also came with a letter, which pretty much spells out his manifesto for his presidential campaign.

“I have no great burning desire to be president, but I have a burning desire to have a different president of the United States,” Santorum said. And a different candidate he would make. He’s been mentioned on several prestigious websites such as urbandictionary.com and even has his own “urban” defintion:

1. santorum: The sometimes frothy, usually slimy, amalgam of lubricant, stray fecal matter and ejaculate that leaks out of the receiving partner’s anus after a session of anal intercourse.

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that that definition probably had something to do with his hardliner conservative stance against homosexuality. But regardless of his views and last name definitions, he still boasts a significant amount of political experience, and as “frothy” as he may be, he may very well could be the best choice for our country’s leader in the next election. Or he could be the bringer of the next apocalypse. In any case, invest in lots of canned foods.

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About the Author

Tom Kent

I was born in Virginia Beach, raised in Westfield, NJ, went to college at Penn State, moved to Miami, FL. Peruvian on mom's side and English on my Dad's. I'm a Journalism major and Political Science minor. I do not currently own any reptiles.

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