OS Staffer Causes Twitter Shutdown at PSU

The Uncensored Picture

With a look of disgust permanently frozen onto his face and @OnwardState’s Twitter feed resonating from his desktop, Graham Spanier announced from Old Main yesterday that the social networking site would no longer be accessible from anywhere on the University grounds.

This is all stems from an incident that occurred Friday afternoon when the Onward State photography editor took a picture of a group of ducks enjoying a relaxing swim in the pond by the Hintz Alumni Center. The caption and tweet in question, however, seemed more like a sarcastic shot at the lovely secretaries and administrators who work hard everyday at Hintz. The catastrophic slip of his typing fingers read: “You gotta love the dicks at the alumni center“.

When the tweet came across @penn_state’s homepage, witnesses say they saw Spanier become physically ill. Even tweets by the author apologizing for the mention of male genitalia did not deter the President from handing down this harsh sentence.

His statement read:

The use of obscenity on the Onward State Twitter site has no place at Penn State. Plus, it’s going to take days to get these stains out of the carpet. That’s a priceless oriental rug stained orange now. Say goodbye to half the Student Activities Fee, suckers. Wait, I’m getting off track. Because of these actions, I have no choice but to block Twitter on the Penn State internet.

No more following, no more trending topics and no more retweeting. Does anyone smell a MySpace resurgence on campus?

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About the Author

Dan Vecellio

Dan is a graduate student in meteorology, hailing from Bradford, Pennsylvania. His interests include sports, Penn State and commons cheesesteaks. Feel free to contact me through my email or follow me on Twitter.

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