Penn State news by
Penn State's student blog



Dane Cook: Struck by a Nerf Bat

Last night, the BJC was filled with anticipation awaiting the comedian who brought you the BK Lounge. Dane Cook returned to Penn State for the second time in five years. The center stage glistened in the middle as crowds filled in the seats.  My friend and I walk into our portal, and the lady checking our tickets asks us if we wanted to sit closer, and hands us two tickets. We squealed with excitement as we now found our new, much closer and more centralized seats. Free upgrade!

As we sat down, the lights dimmed, and Dane comes on the screen saying that he has brought three comedians out to open the show. First up was J. Chris Newberg who strummed a song about killing your roommate. Next was Ben Gleib, from Chelsea Lately, who kept referring to the man in the audience who quacked as “Duck Man.” Lastly was Al Del Bene who ranted about his one-year-old son and how he’s always there.

Then, with a massive intro video of scantily clad girls, military men and even little kids showing off the infamous Super Finger, Dane ran out as camera flashes and screams saturated through the venue.

From jokes about mugging, the perfect crime, love, relationships, future fantasies and breakups, Cook had me laughing from start to finish.

A few of my personal favorite quotes…

When talking about new STDs, “Vagina Dentada, it’s real, google it!”

“Nobody’s gonna know the origin of a strange knife.”

“I have a folder on my desktop of letters of my fan mail, but my one hater, has his own folder, labeled Jonathon.”

As a treat, Dane brought out the opening acts, and they put on a mini concert. What was also great was the audience participation. They asked if anyone in the audience had a birthday, which led them to Jessica. They then sang a special birthday song which, asked her the big question, “will you show your tits?” To their dismay, she did not, so they followed up with, “any birthday sluts in the audience?”

Your ad blocker is on.

Please choose an option below.

Sign up for our e-mail newsletter:
Support quality journalism:
Purchase a Subscription!

About the Author

Follow on Another Platform
State College Links
Other posts by Lauren

8 Things You Need to Do to Prepare For Hanukkah

December is all about the 25 days of Christmas whether you watch Elf a million times on ABC Family or Ellen DeGeneres’ Holiday Themed 12 days of Giving. While you’re pulling a George Washington and chopping down a tree, some people are lightening Menorahs. The Jewish Holiday began Saturday at sunset and lasts till December 16th. Even if you’re not Jewish but want to surprise your friends, here are eight things that are crucial when preparing for the festivities that take place during Hannukkah.

Finance Takes the Mr. and Mrs. THON Title

Distraction of the Day: Penn State YouTube Gems

No. 11 Penn State Survives, Downs Northwestern 17-7

The Nittany Lions grinded through some ugly weather to advance to 5-0 on the season.

No. 11 Penn State Survives, Downs Northwestern 17-7

The Nittany Lions grinded through some ugly weather to advance to 5-0 on the season.

Gameday Coverage: No. 11 Penn State vs. Northwestern

Get ready for some ugly weather in Happy Valley.

Staff Predictions: No. 11 Penn State vs. Northwestern

Our staffers believe Penn State will remain undefeated in conference play after Saturday’s contest.

Send this to a friend