How to Lose Facebook Friends and Alienate People

I am ashamed to say, but over my 5 years on Facebook I have accumulated 1065 friends.  I can’t recall becoming friends with at least half of them.

I know I am not alone. Others also maintain Facebook friendships with people they have no interest in. For some reason, we continue to keep these friendships while remaining apathetic to each other’s lives.

The normal person would take the passive aggressive route and simply delete the unknown faces among their digital friends. I choose to have them delete me.

Trial 1

She never responded to me. I don’t think she knows what fasting is.

Facebook Friends Lost Total = 0

Trial 2

I thought a simple statement of mortality would lighten the mood. My comment sat for hours, no response. I can do better.

Facebook Friends Lost Total = 0

Trial 3

These were comments on teenagers’ Facebook profile picture. I never understood why so many 20-year-old males were friends with this 16-year-old. These men were suffering from the Lolita effect, and I needed to remind them.

Facebook Friends Lost  Total= 1

Trial 4

Admittedly this one was a little mean, and did get deleted rather quickly by her. She still did not remove me from her friends list.

Facebook Friends Lost = 1

Trial 5

I took the picture seconds after posting. I had a feeling we weren’t going to be friends for very long after.

Facebook Friends Lost Total = 2

The Findings…

After insulting, mocking, and creeping on five different individuals on my friends list, only two took the initative to delete my existence from their world.

The other three chose the path of apathy. They chose to remain among 1,063 of my closest friends. Any ridiculous Facebook statuses or friend stories to share? Comment below.

About the Author

Mario Di Paolo

Mario Di Paolo is a contributor to Onward State. Originally from Montoursville Pennsylvania, Mario is seeking a bachelors degree in Print Journalism and hopes to finish by 2017. As a devoted lover of cinema, Mario can often be found alone in his apartment watching pretentious films he pretends to understand.


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