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State Patty’s Day: Act Like You’ve Partied Before

This is the second of a five-part series detailing Onward State’s stance on State Patty’s Day.

Every year it’s the same conversation. The elders and the suits of State College start crying “State Patty’s Day is bad for the community! Be responsible young adults and stop this madness!” while bros and hos (and regular joes) rebut “Madness? THIS. IS. COLLEEGGGGGGGGGGE!!!!! [cue projectile vomit into some bushes].” On the whole, it’s very difficult to sway either side.

So instead of trying to convince students not to celebrate this coveted “holiday”, we want to talk about being Proud Penn State Partiers. You don’t get on Playboy’s list of top party schools by making rookie mistakes as a result of irresponsible drinking. The real point of pride is having your cake and eating it, too; or in this case, having your wild night out and remembering it, too.

A story about finishing off a handle of Vladdy with your friends and then passing out cold might have impressed your friends in high school. But this is the big leagues—we’re supposed to be GOOD at drinking here. The best stories involve NOT being the one throwing trash in the streets, peeing in the alley beside The Tavern or getting arrested. They involve being able to speak of the conversations you had the night before, not bruising yourself when falling on College Ave. or walking into a street sign on Beaver. We all remember that freshman (maybe it was you) who pregamed so hard he never got past the actual pregame, and woke up with inappropriate illustrations on his face. At other schools, many people still haven’t figured out how to avoid that (and we’ve all enjoyed it when we go home for breaks).

Unfortunately, being bad at drinking can also go from embarrassing to dangerous pretty quickly. And isn’t that really the point of the attacks against State Patty’s Day? That we tend to go a step too far–or at least, our friends, who aren’t Penn State material, do? Come on, we’re better than vomiting in the streets, and passing out on benches downtown. We’re Penn State, damn it.

So drink. You know you’re going to. But even in your intoxicated states, stay in control and act like you’ve been there before. And then make sure your friends do the same, even if they haven’t. If we all did that, nobody would be trying to take this day away from us.

You can see the previous posts from our series below:

Part 1: State Patty’s Day Dangerous To Image After Scandal

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Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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