The Best Love Advice (That We Never Take)
It’s Valentine’s Day and, for better or worse, love is on everyone’s mind. Whether you’re (un)happily single or (not very) content in a relationship, here’s some of the best love advice that I’ve gotten over the years.
The person you’re with should make you feel better, not worse, about yourself.
This seems really obvious, right? Wrong. Stop telling yourself you don’t deserve him/her. If you’re “with” (whatever your definition of that is) the person, you deserve them. Unless that person really sucks, in which case he/she doesn’t deserve you. Regardless, you should never feel inferior.
When in doubt, spell it out.
Yes, this certainly takes a lot of courage, but it beats the hell out of playing games. This especially applies to situations when you just don’t feel the same way about the person anymore. Let’s face it, when someone likes you, they’ll find any reason to hold onto hope that you like them. It might be cold, but the best way to allow both of you to move on is to tell it like it is.
“If it wasn’t real, they wouldn’t make so many movies about it.”
Frustrating but true advice. Whenever you feel confused or upset about your feelings, remember this. And, in case you’re wondering, my favorite movie about “it” is probably Say Anything, which leads me to…
“I wanna get hurt!” and “When it hits, you better make it worth the fall”
My friends will definitely laugh at me for this advice, as I cite it all too often. Still, Lloyd Dobler makes a great point in Say Anything when he accepts gladly the prospect of getting hurt for the chance at something great, just as Keri Hilson does in the song “Knocks You Down,” when she belts out the latter statement above. Nobody wants to get their heart broken, but it’s just like any other muscle- you have to break it down for it to come back stronger.
“I’d still pick my friends over you.”
Okay, this piece of advice from New Found Glory may not be true in every instance, but it should be the rule rather than the exception. This proves difficult when that special someone makes you feel oh-so-good, but don’t forget about those who have always been there for you (and will be there for you when that special someone turns out to not be so special after all).
“It’s actions, not words, that matter.”
You knew a Nicholas Sparks reference would pop up somewhere in this post, didn’t you? This advice seems pretty self-explanatory, but we still find ways to make excuses for what he/she does or doesn’t do. Do yourself a favor and read between the lines (or, rather, listen between the BS). If you find yourself constantly making excuses for him/her or holding onto “that one time” when he/she did something sweet, you may need to reevaluate your situation. While your expectations should not reach impossible heights, they should make the relationship (or whatever you’re looking for) worthwhile on a consistent basis.
“Let’s have a real good time.”
Our dear friends Pitbull and J-Lo may have given this advice to promote Dr. Pepper, but it applies to your love life too. Quite simply, if you’re not having fun, you need to change your situation or move on.
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect, you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together. But if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being a human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.” – Bob Marley
No explanation needed. This is perfect.
What is the best love advice you’ve ever received? Leave a comment below!
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About the Author
After losing my father to cancer, I thought there was nothing THON could offer me that I didn’t already know. After four years, I found comfort in the familiar.
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