What are your plans for State Patty’s Day this year? I know this is a serious issue facing a large portion of the student body, and one with no easy solution. Naturally, UPUA took it upon themselves to remedy this daunting problem in the form of Resolution #29-06.

This resolution allocates $850 to advertise for the New York African Studies Association 37th Annual Conference, which will be held on Penn State’s campus over State Patty’s Day weekend. Are you excited yet? Vice Chair of Student Life & Diversity Mallory Reed is.

“If you think no constituents are going [to the NYASA Conference], then you are saying ‘I think you’re all going to get drunk,'” Reed said. This was part of a passionate statement by Reed, to which she later remarked “Spirited debate keeps this assembly alive.” The debate lasted nearly an hour, as representatives argued about the amount of student interest in such a conference.

The resolution would pass 31-3-1, with IFC Representative Dan Florencio as the most notable critic. This is a great victory for the student body, as all I’ve heard for months now is, “I have no idea what I am going to do on State Patty’s Day! I wish there was an African American studies conference nearby so I’d have something to do.” Well, the masses got their wish, and now a $500 front page Collegian ad and four posters (for $70 each) will inform the esteemed student body of the much-anticipated NYASA Conference. “It’s morning again in America,” folks.

Two other resolutions were also brought to a vote during the meeting, including a resolution to fund the student S-Books (passed 30-4-1) and funding for the 2012 Elections Commission (passed 35-0). The 8,500 student handbooks will cost $12,400 to print, and will be distributed to freshmen next year. The book is a guidebook that includes useful information and maps for new students, and contains no information that can’t be found for free online. The Elections Commission budget comes at a cost of $6,900, and includes $1,500 in stipends for the Election Commissioner and Deputy Commissioners, as well as $1,500 for a “Transition Dinner.”

In all, UPUA spent $20,150 of your money last night on handbooks, advertising for the NYASA conference, and funding for an election. Hey, at least there will be hors d’oeuvres at the “transition dinner”!

T.J. Bard Tie Rating of the Week (N/A): This was bullshit. Half the reason I cover UPUA is to critique President Bard’s outfit, so you can imagine my reaction when roll call was taken and I didn’t hear that melodious presidential voice coming from the front of the room. Coming off a perfect rating last week, I was expecting big things from Bard this week. He better be coming strong at next week’s meeting. At least John Zang’s $450 haircut was immaculate.

(*New feature*) Elias Warren Quote of the Week: “So it’s clear, I can’t profess my love for Emma Watson on the sidewalks on Valentine’s Day?”