There’s nothing quite like a night in 302 HUB, kicking back with two Diet Cokes and watching the gears of our student government turn simultaneously with the wheels of progress. Last night was no different, as the UPUA met for their weekly General Assembly meeting.

First up on the agenda was a special presentation from Governmental Affairs Chairman, and four year UPUA veteran, Adam Boyer. Boyer brought us back to the 2008/2009 academic year, which he explained “Nothing really happened…at all.” You see, UPUA only had a $19,009 budget back then. To put it in perspective, they spent that much money at just last week’s meeting.

Following Boyer’s presentation, President T.J. Bard delivered his presidential address. Bard announced the conclusion of the final State Patty’s Day task force meeting and commended the ten bars that are closing this Saturday. He also introduced a website, www.peacelovestatecollege.com, for the people who want to help with the sober initiatives downtown this weekend.

If the opportunity to stand on the street corner downtown and watch drunk people walk by wasn’t enough to excite you, don’t worry, Bard wasn’t finished with his generosity just yet. He also announced that UPUA has been working with the IFC and the Penn State Athletic Department to promote the basketball game Saturday night. UPUA will be giving out up to 500 tickets today and tomorrow in the HUB from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. with the opportunity to win prizes like iPads and football season tickets at the game. Heck, you can go straight from your shift on the street corner up to the BJC to take in Penn State basketball. It’s hard to imagine a better day than that, folks.

Then the real fun began, as Facilities Chairman David Harrington introduced Resolution #30-06, which called for $4,706 to print 5,300 posters to advertise for the CATA tokens program. What is the CATA tokens program?  I’m glad you asked. The CATA tokens program allows students to buy bus tokens at commons desks throughout campus in advance using LionCash, as opposed to having the exact $1.50 upon boarding the bus.

Thanks to UPUA and their $4,706, no Penn State student will be troubled ever again with the miserable burden of having to carry $1.50 to ride the bus. Not only do these posters advertise for the tokens, but they also include route maps and other information about CATA. If you weren’t convinced before that they weren’t worth $4,706, you should be now.

The resolution passed unanimously 32-0-0. Harrington would later describe the CATA token program as “his baby.”

Next up was a resolution to issue a statement regarding State Patty’s Day as an assembly. The statement called for students to take responsibility this State Patty’s Day, and recommended alternative activities to do on Saturday.

Off-campus Representative Eli Glazier motioned to strike the last part of the statement, which thanked local downtown establishments for closing their doors during the weekend. Glazier explained his reasoning in the following way:

“Bars are the safest place one can drink on a given day. Closing the bars for State Patty’s may protect tavern owners from possible legal action or damage, but it does nothing to protect our town and its image. People who would have gone to bars will instead drink in more dangerous places like apartments and houses, places with fewer safeguards. The IFC decision not to have events on the day is a similar one. I did not feel that UPUA thanking the tavern owners for closing their bars was in the best interest of lessening the negative impact of this “holiday.”

Glazier’s motion received no support, and the resolution passed 31-1-0 with Glazier as the only no vote.

So there you have it. $4,706 in CATA posters and UPUA now has an official position on State Patty’s Day. How will they be able to top this next week?

T.J. Bard Tie Rating of the Week (3/5) – I was going to give this a much lower rating, because from a distance, it looked like a standard plain Republican red and white Walmart combo. However, when I got closer after the meeting, I saw that the tie had a classy paisley red design, and the white shirt had light pinstripes that went along with a faint pinstriped suit. It wasn’t anything special, but it certainly wasn’t a bad look. I was hoping for better after Bard no-showed last week.

Elias Warren Quote of the Week: “I am such an ash…” (It should be noted that Elias is Catholic and yesterday was Ash Wednesday.)