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A Hater’s Guide to 10 Hipster Scenes in Happy Valley

The following is a list of the ten places around State College where the progressive-thinking, independent, edgy, counter culture collective of “hipsters” seek refuge from the ignorant mainstream gestapo of haters.  This post is subject to change because after it is read by the masses, these places will no longer be relevant to the hipster scene.

10.) The Other McLanahan’s — No, this is not the McLanahan’s on the corner of East College and Garner where everyone goes to get their groceries. It’s the one on South Allen and Calder. Here, you can purchase all of your organic and exotic foods without the hassle of dealing with the Penn State common folk.

9.) Fresh Harvest Kafé — The FHK is a quaint little eatery where you can grab all your favorite Paninis, Bistro Flatbreads, and Garden Fresh Salads. Definitely a great place to blog about on your Tumblr.

8.) Farmer’s Market (Locust Lane) — It’s a nostalgic-type State College gathering every Friday morning and afternoon, where locals bring in all of their homegrown foods, flowers, and other products without the GMOs.

7.) The Gallery Café — Smack dab in the middle of Palmer Museum of Art and the Visual Arts Building, this on campus site is a common place for the uptown hipster to buy a coffee to go with their American Spirits as they walk to and from class.

6.) Ghetto Weis — This Ghetto Weis, located on Westerly Parkway, is the hangout for all of the State College High School hipsters, also known as posers to the Collegiate group of hipsters.

5.) Zeno’s — Getting ready to celebrate their 40th Aniversary, Zeno’s is an underground bar (literally) that has been voted as one of the best college beer bars in the country. The Bon Iver beards run rampant and the $5 pitchers of Pabst Blue Ribbon flow like the urine in the restrooms. Truly a cool scene.

4.) Chronic Town — This establishment is like hipster heaven. Not only can you smoke hookah there, but you can also purchase your favorite vinyl LPs, play pinball, and even take a look at the tiny head shop in the corner.

3.) Goodwill — Why would you buy an ironic t-shirt at Urban Outfitters for $40 when you could find that same T-Shirt at Goodwill for $3. Hell while you’re at Westerly Parkway, you can swing by Ghetto Weis after you shop and kill two birds with one effortless stone.

2.) Hipster Ave. — This is the 100 block of E. Beaver Ave. where Tattoo Marks, Uncle Eli’s, and Webster’s Café are all right next to each other. It’s like one giant “authentic” clusterfuck.

1.) Saint’s Cafe — Lo and Behold, the cream of the contemporary crop. A locally and independently owned European-style coffeehouse with a workforce of kindhearted baristas and a fresh brewed cup of joe. They even donate some of their earnings to Non-profits and other organizations. What more could a pretentious, self-righteous asshole want when buying a cup of coffee.

About the Author

Leo Dillinger

Penn State Junior, Print Journalism Major, Minors in English and Sociology, Writer of Arts, Entertainment, News, Tomfoolery and Opinion.

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