PSU news by
Penn State's student blog



Overheard on the Halloweekend

At Penn State, the weekend of Halloween (if you want to call Wednesday through Sunday a “weekend”) is truly a spectacle like no other. This beloved holiday brings out the absolute wildest of party animals, throws them in scandalous and/or hilarious costumes, and provides them with an excuse to go crazy in a way that is utterly unacceptable any other time of the year. The things I heard coming out of people’s mouths this weekend exceeded expectations. You’ll either love this, or you’ll be horrified by it, so…trick or treat!

toddlers in tiaras

Girl in a white hoodie: “Pretty sure I made out with Cookie Monster last night?”

Cowboy: “What are you supposed to be?”
Mardi Gras, disappointed: “I’m Mardi Gras!”
Cowboy: “Ohhhh…” *nods in confusion*”
Mardi Gras: “I’ll show you my boobs if you give me beads.”
Cowboy: “Ohhhh!” *walks away quickly* “Who has beads? Beads? DOES ANYONE HAVE BEADS?!”

Snowboarder, pointing at two Ohio State fans: “Look, they’re dressed as assholes!”

Flower: “I didn’t like Thor that much.”
Bumblebee: “Seriously? You know those were his real muscles? He could have nailed me with that hammer.”

Toddler in a Tiara, carrying a pacifier: “Would you judge me if I kept this binky after tonight?”
Another Toddler in a Tiara: “…Yes.”

Drunk Ohio State fan: “Hey! Hey you! Are you the Grinch?”
Green dinosaur: “…I–”
Drunk Ohio State fan’s husband: “God damn it, Gloria, he’s not a fucking Grinch!”
Green dinosaur: “He’s right, I’m sorry.”

Bunny: “NO! I lost my tail! Someone stole my tail!”
Cat, holding her tail: “Sammy, I have your tail.”

Kitty-Cat: “Some girls just really can’t pull off being cute… I mean, we can, but some girls just really can’t.”

Slutty nurse: “I have to go back.”
Bill Cosby: “No! Why?”
Slutty nurse: “I’m not walking home in this tomorrow morning.”

Mustard: “Do you have chapstick in your bag?”
Ketchup: “No, just vodka and some candy corn.”

Giraffe in a tutu: “My caaaaaaat!” *hiccups between sobs*
Bruce Springsteen: *walks up to serenade her to make her feel better*
Giraffe’s comforting friend: “Go away! Noooo… No! Don’t sing to her! Back! Get back!”
Bruce Springsteen: “I was just gonna sing the–”
Giraffe, wailing: “MY CAAAAAT!”
Giraffe’s comforting friend: “It’s okay, shhh.” then meanly to Bruce, “Just get the hell out of here!”
Bruce Springsteen, grumbling: “Fine, okay… Born to run… whatever…”

Abraham Lincoln: “Hi, I’m Babe. Babe Lincoln.”

Flapper Girl: “I just went down on PacMan?”
Wonder Woman: “No, Captain America. PacMan was on the couch with Tinkerbell.”

French Maid: “A guy in a banana costume gave me a special brownie.” *sits down on the sidewalk* “I need a nap.”
Her friend, yanking her back to her feet: “No naps! We have to find the banana!”

Pocahontas: “Mmmm, I would totally get with Totally Kyle.”

Lax Bro: “Where’d your sombrero go?”
Guy with a colorful poncho and a fake mustache: “I couldn’t grind with it on my head.”

Mouse: “Oh no!” *covers her face*
Cat: “What!?”
Mouse, from behind her hands: “I hooked up with that guy right there.”
Cat, looking at the guy: “Oh shit… Well he’s hot, so four for you Glen Coco!”

Zombie: “Did you see the yellow teletubby doing a keg stand?”

His friend: “No way! The red one puked in John’s hat.”

Slutty cop: “Trick or treat!”
Penguin: “Not fucking now, Kate.”
Slutty cop: “What the hell is your problem?”
Penguin: “Jeff just called, his friend just took a shit in our elevator.”

Wilfred the Dog: “Stop. It’s not cheating if you’re wearing a costume.”

Doctor: “What did you think of that pumpkin?”
Guy in a suit, bored: “I’ve seen sluttier.”

Mummy: “It’s not my fault. They yelled at me for not wearing a costume.”
His friend: “Yeah, so you stole all of their fucking toilet paper?”

Keg: “What the hell is your problem tonight?”
Leprechaun: “I’m sorry man, I got stupid baked with Obama and Elmo at Ken’s place.”
Keg: “Wait. Wait, wait. Bro. Elmo?”
Leprechaun: “Yeah?”
Keg: “Are you sure? ‘Cause if it was Big Bird, Romney would be piiiiiiissed!”

Guy dressed as a Taco: “Hola!”
Slutty pirate: “Oooh, a taco! I’m gonna eat you!”

Mermaid, crying: “I just want to go home.”
Belle: “What’s wrong!”
Cinderella, quietly: “Her wig fell into the jungle juice.”

Binder full of women: “Why don’t white guys dance!?”

Mouse: “Who’s that?”
Cat: “It’s the pickle’s little brother.” *pauses and starts laughing* “He’s a gherkin!”

Guy in a toga: “Yo, wrong holiday, girl!”

Cheerleader: “So, what? You just left him there?”
Cheetah: “Yes! What would you do? I didn’t wanna make him take off his mask, but I was scared he might be ugly!”

Mouse: “Ooooh, let’s go trick or treating tonight! But for shots instead of candy.”

Most Interesting Man in the World: “Is that ballerina hot?”
His friend: “Nah, just real naked.”

Guy dressed as the Terrible Towel: “YOU’RE A TOWEL!”

Baseball player, watching Catwoman walk away: “God bless Halloween.”

Your ad blocker is on.

Please choose an option below.

Sign up for our e-mail newsletter:
Support quality journalism:
Purchase a Subscription!

About the Author

Alicia Thomas

Alicia is a senior with majors in Print Journalism and Spanish and a minor in International Studies. Chances are that she's somewhere talking about her semester abroad or ranting about sexual assault prevention right now. She can be reached via Twitter (@aliciarthomas) or email ([email protected]).


Other posts by Alicia

15 Pieces Of Advice From A 2015 Graduate: Alicia’s Senior Column

Simply put: I would not be the person who I am today without the influence of this university, and I will be forever grateful for that. “Thou didst mold us, dear old State” has never felt truer.

OS Cribs: The Apartment You Wish Was Yours

OS Cribs: The Attic Above Cafe 210 West

One Final Family Hour: Stepping Into Familiarity And Closer To My Dad

After losing my father to cancer, I thought there was nothing THON could offer me that I didn’t already know. After four years, I found comfort in the familiar.

Your State Patty’s Daylong Attire Guide

If you waited until the last minute to plan your State Patty’s daylong outfit, we have your back.

Send this to a friend