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Overheard on Twitter: Steven Bench Announces Presidential Candidacy

You might not have heard yet, but there’s actually a Penn State student running for the office of President of the United States today: Backup quarterback Steven Bench.

Bench might not have the best football stats (2-8, 12 yards on the year), he has the best Twitter account on the team. While he’s biding his time on the “bench” waiting for McGloin to graduate, he must developed his platform to run for president, which I’m sure consists of points such as:

Moving Penn State to Florida or somewhere else warm.

Free Pumpkin Spiced Lattes for everyone.

Having lots of attractive vampires around at all times.

Eliminate lines at the Waffle Shop.

And we know he’ll have at least two votes, the #BenchDogs!

So if you’re still undecided, consider voting Steven Bench for President!

About the Author

Alex Robinson

Alex Robinson was Onward State's Acting Managing Editor/Resident Old Man. He lived in Harrisburg almost his whole life, but he says he's from California -- where he was born -- because that's more fun. He loves cats and Chinese food, but only separately. He met both Ben Affleck and Kanye West within a half hour, so the three of them are basically best friends. If you want to hear his #scorching #hot #takes, you can follow him at @ARobinsonPSU or email him at [email protected]

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Miniature Penn State Tailgate Bus Up For Sale, Tailgate Never Has To End

The bus was purchased at a church and designed to carry 22 children. Now it carries about 30 cases of beer.

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