Since the recent additions of Maryland and Rutgers to the Big Ten have been met with criticism, we took it upon ourselves to pick the next 10 schools that should should be invited to join the conference.

(Editors note: Yes, we realize these aren’t realistic. Please don’t take it seriously.)

Hawaii: Away games would be AWESOME. I’d be there every time a Penn State team played any sport there.

Boise State: Who doesn’t want to play football on blue turf?

West Virginia: They’d burn every couch in the state when we beat them.

UCLA: I want to see Penn State play in the Rose Bowl, and thanks to our good friend Mark Emmert, playing at UCLA is the only way I’d be able to do so for a few years.

Pitt: So we can beat them every year and sing this song.

Texas A&M: They have the only student section that comes even close to ours, and it would be cool to see.

Keep in mind that this is MIDNIGHT THE NIGHT BEFORE THE GAME.

USC: I want us to beat Silas Redd head-to-head, and I want Zach Zwinak to have more yards than Redd in the game. Because it wasn’t a business decision.

LSU: I like Les Miles, and I want him to eat our award winning grass at Beaver Stadium. He’d never want to eat any other grass again.

Virginia Tech: Because if this doesn’t give you goosebumps you don’t have a pulse:

Oregon: Every game they’d come in new uniforms. It would be a cool clash of old school vs. new age (and maybe they’d give our athletic department new ideas on uniforms?…)

Do you have any other ideas on ideal Big Ten teams? Let us know in the comments!