Christmas wasn’t too long ago and your wallet is probably still feeling the damage. Valentine’s Day didn’t help things either. Now State Patty’s Day is right around the corner and you don’t have beer money. If you’re not interested in getting an actual job (who is?), State College offers a few other ways to score some dough.*

Donate Plasma

A popular method for Penn State students, BioLife will suck the blood right out of you for money! Don’t worry, they’ll put it back—minus your plasma. There are certainly upsides to donating plasma. You can donate twice a week and get fifty bucks without working for The Man. If it’s beer money you’re after, plasma is an especially great way to go as it will thin your blood, allowing you to get drunk faster. Talk about efficiency! A small downside of donating plasma: frequently having needles shoved into your arm will make you look like a junkie.

Be A Guinea Pig

Now I can’t guarantee that this method will get you cash before the weekend, but if you plan ahead you can make an absolute fortune, or, enough to pay for three credits of class. Penn State has a fairly large variety of research studies that are seeking volunteers. Some of them compensate you, some of them don’t. Those that do compensate can fall into a pretty large range. If you’re willing to participate in a blogging study (30 mins of your time) your name will be entered in a drawing to win prizes. If you want to go ingest some free probiotics in a study that examines gut health and immune function (6 months) you’ll get $400.

Rob Kranich’s

Just kidding. You’ll get caught.

Craigslist

This is only if you’re really desperate. On Craigslist, sh*t gets weird fast. But if you’re scrolling through it is possible to find a gig that doesn’t require getting naked.

But then, there are plenty of posts that want you to get naked. But it’s body painting! That’s almost classy!

200 dollars per day! If only I had that “Girl Next Door” look they are looking for! But your opportunities will only get better on Craigslist.

What’s a better way than a paid tickling shoot to kickstart your modeling career? I’m sure the guy posting this isn’t creepy at all!

To be clear, these Craigslist postings are a bad idea.

Take Notes

If your GPA is good enough, taking notes can be a great way to make some money. If you’re going to be in class, you might as well be making money. Nittany Notes in State College is a good place to check out.

*If you happen to be the yellow Lambo guy, just ask your parents for more money.