To read a senior’s take on State Patty’s Day, click here.

An argument could be made that I am a bad Penn Stater.

Admittedly, I have not attended a single sporting event in my freshman year, save the time I meandered, nonplussed, through the first football tailgate of the season, sweating profusely into my PSU snapback.

Even this past weekend I found myself tossed amid the student body minority not queuing up outside the BJC at all hours. At ten o’clock last Saturday night, I was curled up in my dorm room watching Kill Bill and eating Trader Joe’s snacks (the Raisin Rosemary Crisps are to die for).

I’d like to defend myself, however, and suggest that perhaps I’m not really such a bad Penn State student. After all, I attend classes, participate in various groups around campus, and, of course, I like to let loose when the weekend rolls around. Actually, I like to let shit hit the fan.

So, State Patty’s? I’m interested.

Finally, a staple of Penn State culture I can buy into! Finally, something I can understand (I think).

It feels like I have been training for this kind of weekend extravaganza since I got here in August, bolstering my tolerance one sip at a time, fostering a new ability to stay functional past 2 a.m. in general.

Some freshmen I’ve talked to are wary of State Patty’s. They are pretty much the same ones haunting the study lounge each and every time I roll back in on the tail-end of a Saturday night. (It’s Saturday and the sun is going to rise in another hour and a half; don’t give me that look!) You know who you are.

I guess the more standardized freshman approach to State Patty’s weekend goes something like, “OMG CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!!! SHIT’S GONNA BE INSANE. HOPE I DON’T GET AN UNDERAGE. LOL!” But as I said, this is only a guess.

I like to think I fall somewhere in the middle. I will probably walk downtown sometime this week with the sole intention of purchasing my first State Patty’s t-shirt. I will probably have a three-consecutive-days hangover. I will probably do something remotely embarrassing before the week is out.

That being said, I have a pretty clear-cut “not to do” list for the weekend. It mostly consists of  things like avoiding all legal trouble and not succumbing to the gravitational pull of D.P. Dough when the clock chimes midnight (like Cinderella?). Essentially, it’s the normal stuff.

But I am banking on the bulk of the student body (and their visitors) to deliver something beyond what has become normalcy. From what I’ve heard, windows will be smashed, pedestrians will be running rampant in the streets, and policemen will be riding around on horses.

Hate me, but it sounds kind of awesome. Methinks State Patty’s Day is a real treat for people who enjoy watching chaos unfold — people like me.

It’s been a hectic few weeks and I think it’s time we all had a good laugh.

I suspect entering State Patty’s weekend with a certain level of detachment is the best way to forge a compromise between participation and utter stupidity.

But hey, I’m just a freshman. What do I know? I’ll take things as they come.

Here’s to another great Happy Valley weekend! More importantly, here’s to hoping my parents don’t stumble upon this article. Should’ve used a pseudonym…damn.