PSU news by
Penn State's student blog

Topics

About

Guy Wearing Shorts in Cold Weather “Absolute Badass”

Social media exploded following reports of a brave man wearing shorts in the 24-degree weather earlier today. The man, witnessed by hundreds of stunned disbelievers and admirers, was last reported seen wearing a pair of tan cargo shorts walking in the vicinity of Old Main despite the sub-freezing temperatures.

“I was walking back from class today when I caught a glimpse of his legs, practically shimmering with bravery,” commented witness Jeremiah Connors. “When you see a person wearing shorts in this kind of weather, you just know they’re just the toughest, most fearless warrior around.”

Later this afternoon, the Old Main lawn was surrounded by a throng of onlookers hoping to catch a glimpse of this “absolute badass”, as freshman Hannah Daley said. “People that wear shorts in cold weather are just so cool that I can’t resist looking at them. It’s like they somehow know they’ll get attention by wearing shorts.”

Scientists were stunned by the levels of badassery displayed by the man now known as Shorts Guy.

“According to preliminary results, we’re looking at a person that could shatter the very fabric of space-time by engaging in any other rad behaviors while wearing shorts in this weather,” said lead physicist Louis Coutu. “We advise this man against wearing sunglasses indoors or keeping his ski tickets on his jacket zipper.”

At press time, University Police have closed off the Old Main lawn due to rioting Shorts Guy fans.

By Owen Hitchcock of Penn State’s premier humor magazine, Phroth. Facebook | Twitter

About the Author

Phroth

Phroth has served as Penn State's place for humor in a variety of capacities, names, and mediums, since 1909.

You probably recognize Phroth as the architect behind highly-regarded publications Phroth Magazine and the Daily Phollegian.

Comments

More by Phroth

Phollegian Hits The Newsstands

The Valentine’s edition of the Phollegian is out. Stop by any of our racks in Osmond, Willard, Thomas, Forum or the HUB and pick up a copy.

Willard Preacher Gets Fushigi Magic Gravity Ball

“Winter Break Was Good” Reports Everyone Everywhere

Athletics

Center Ludvig Larsson Transfers To Penn State Hockey From Merrimack

The Swedish faceoff specialist graduated after three seasons at Merrimack, but will be immediately eligible to play for Guy Gadowsky in 2018-19.

Harris, Rivers Win Big Ten Titles On Final Day Of Competition

Penn State Women’s Soccer Releases 2018 Schedule

Penn State Women’s Lacrosse Loses To Penn 15-14 In Double OT

Penn State’s Kaleigh Riehl Headed To U.S. U-23 Camp

Student Life

Where Do Penn Staters Move After Graduation?

Not only is literally everyone at Penn State from “right outside of Philly,” ALMOST everyone also works “right outside of Philly.”

Penn Stater In The Running To Become Chief Taco Officer

Finding Your Penn State Beyond Penn State: Carolyn Popescu’s Senior Column

Plans Submitted For New KFC In State College

Developers have submitted preliminary land development plans to build a new KFC restaurant at 1780 S. Atherton St. in State College.

No Surprise Here: Saquon Barkley Can Throw, Too

Thirty yards out? No problem for Saquon Barkley.

Penn State Approved For Medical Marijuana Clinical Research

“The research component of Pennsylvania’s medical marijuana program sets it apart from the rest of the nation.”

Be the first to know

  • Top posts and the best Penn State stories

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Penn Stater In The Running To Become Chief Taco Officer

Josiah Hritsko is one of three finalists to become Moe’s Southwest Grill’s “Chief Taco Officer.”

Send this to a friend