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The Six People You See Streaking Down Mifflin Road

The tradition lives to see another year. Despite the night’s brisk chill, many brave souls came out to take their glory run (or five) down Mifflin Road.

As a first time spectator at this year’s Mifflin Streak I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, aside from lots and lots of bouncing anatomy. However, I quickly learned that not all streakers are created equal. In fact, there are a few ways to take your stride of pride down Mifflin Road.

1. The Show Off

They want to make sure they’re not the only ones who remember their Mifflin Streak. You may be the guy who slowly strutted down Mifflin Road like he was about to be named America’s Next Top Model, or perhaps you decided to longboard but wiped out before you could make it. Maybe you did handstands going the wrong direction up Mifflin Road, or maybe you were the guy who managed to walk on all fours, backwards, with his head between his legs. I mean, that’s one way to maintain your anonymity.

No matter how you did it, you made the streak your own. Kudos. May your freak flag always fly high.

2. The “Modest” Girl

I’m sure taking off your clothes in front of hundreds of people you may have once had a lecture class in 100 Thomas is a very jarring experience. Really, kudos for having the metaphorical balls to try it. But you’re not really streaking if you’re running down Mifflin in an open button-up shirt. This is the Mifflin Streak, not a weird, half-naked Risky Business.

3. The Person You Know (But Wish You Didn’t)

This is the person who was standing next to you mere moments before but is somehow nowhere to be found at present. By the time you notice their absence you hear a cheer start to resonate in the distance while you see a blur of skin and a flash of facial recognition before it’s too late. Your general awe and sense of admiration only lasts for a few seconds while your brain slowly connects the dots. You then spend the rest of the night trying to get the image of your friend’s nether regions from becoming imprinted in the back of your mind for the rest of finals week (and eternity).

4. The One Who Really, Really Enjoys Streaking

They enjoyed their 15 seconds of naked fame so much, they do it again! And again. And again. They’re like the Energizer Bunny of adrenaline. Before they know it, their Mifflin Streak experience has turned into a naked mile, and you’ve become a little too familiar with them.

5. The Costumed Streaker

So you want to streak but don’t want to risk bumping into anyone you might know? You might just be a costume streaker. The costume streaker wears a mask or any other outrageous clothing that might distract onlookers from discovering their secret identity. It’s some pretty hardcore super hero shit—they have capes and everything. Batman even made an appearance for last night’s streak, along with a few pot heads. Literally.

Some common costumes:

  • Guys: animal heads, capes, and au natural
  • Girls: masquerade ball masks, leis, and bandanas

6. The One and Done

They know their purpose, and they stick to it: one quick, breezy run to become a part of a Penn State tradition. They’re stealthy, and if you blink, you may be left wondering if that really was so-and-so becoming nothing more than a bare-skinned blur in the distance. Perhaps this is a good thing, and you’re better left uncertain than forced to regard this person as a #3.

Catie Simpson contributed to this report.

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Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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