Lulu: A Brutal Directory of Men at Penn State (and Beyond!)
To the good people of Penn State, brace yourselves. An app is storming through the Penn State community that is everyone’s worst nightmare. I’m saying this app has the potential to ruin your interpersonal relationships. Still interested? Read on.
Remember that guy from the other night? Or that ex from years ago that just refuses to join the ranks of being somebody that you used to know? Or perhaps your best guy friend. Maybe that guy you submitted to PSU Crushes. Or maybe even a relative. Well, these are all men you can review on Lulu, an app available for smartphones for free.
Lulu is an app that allows women and only women to write anonymous reviews of men they’ve been in contact with. Through Facebook friends, the lady-user faces a screen full of males they know or are likely to know through colleges, mutual friends, etc. Click on the guy of interest, and you can see how many views they’ve received, or how many reviews they’ve received. Essentially, Lulu is the ladies’ directory of males, both single and taken.
When writing an anonymous review, the user can designate herself as a friend, crush, ex, together, relative, or hook up. From there on out, the user is asked a series of questions concerning the male’s appearance, ambition, commitment, humor, and sexual prowess. While these short, rather limited questions give a basic idea of the man of interest, the next set of questions asks for the best and worst qualities of the guy in the form of sensational hashtags. My personal favorite descriptions are #NoseHair, #OwnsCrocs, and #CheaperThanABigMac.
Another hashtag of interest is #LocalCeleb. Labeled under this hashtag is Matt McGloin, currently ranked a modest 6.8 out of 10. Local celeb, indeed.
What happens when a guy tries to access Lulu from his own phone? Well, the app quickly recognizes the male, and he is faced with this little screen.
From here, males can download Lulu Dude, where they can change their profile picture and choose their turn-ons and turn-offs, to make themselves more desirable. Lulu Dude will allow males to see how many views they have on their profile, but will not allow them to see which females reviewed them.
That being said, I do warn everyone that this app has the potential to TEMPORARILY RUIN YOUR LIFE. For instance, that cute boy you’ve always had your eye on in 100 Thomas? You might find out he is quite the bed hopper. Or in the case of males, if you get a hold of a girl’s phone (although why would you take a girl’s phone anyway, RUDE), your ego may either plummet or skyrocket with the tap of the touch screen.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
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About the Author
The Hoosiers have been underwhelming in all aspects of Big Ten play this season.
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