An Open Letter to PSU Crushes

Dear @PSU_Crushes,

You don’t follow me, but I follow you (on Twitter, that is). You have only been in existence for a few weeks, but what you have done since that first tweet on March 19 has had the impact of a lifetime. The idea behind your account is brilliant: people anonymously submit their secret crushes to the website, and soon enough someone has a secret admirer.

It’s a shout out to a crush at its passive aggressive finest. It’s also very candygram-esque, and I love candygrams. I also cannot express to you how jealous I am that you are the holder of so many secrets and that I wish it had occurred to me to come up with the idea myself.

I am shocked and absolutely flattered to have had the honor of being mentioned through your account on three different occasions. This has been, indeed, an odd turn of events which I would have never expected. You see, every time I go home to see my family, I’m overwhelmed with questions about my sad, sad excuse of a love life. The conversation goes something along the lines of, “Yuka, do boys like you?” “Nope, no they don’t.” “Why don’t they like you?” “Because, parents, they approach me, but they slowly walk away once I start talking.” Such is the monotony of my romantic life, and I’ve accepted the “forever alone” mentality for quite some time.

But within the past couple of weeks, my life changed forever, at least in the twitterverse.

First, there was this tweet that started it all:

Obviously, this tweet was a joke. I’m assuming the culprit was one of my classmates. Well played, friends.

But then, this happened.

This was either very sincere or a sick joke. Some people even thought I submitted myself to @PSU_Crushes. To those skeptics, I’m not that desperate. On another note, if my secret admirer is actually being honest, I’m assuming that person doesn’t see me during class because I am usually sleep deprived and/or hungover and thus quite the unattractive spectacle in the morning.

And right when I almost forgot about PSU Crushes, I saw this little fella during class:

This one was my personal favorite. I thought it clever, since I tweeted about 11:11 just a couple days earlier. The quickest way to my heart, I always say, is food and Twitter. That being said, if this is all a joke, the person is really toying with my emotions and social media addiction. For now, I’m just going to believe that I have a person admiring me from afar in a non-creepy way.

My point to you, @PSU_Crushes, is that despite my pessimistic outlook on pretty much everything, I would like to retain the optimism I have gained ever since you revealed to me that someone out there likes me for the odd person that I am. There are over 1,300 tweets under your account and counting, which means you are spreading joy and happiness to thousands of Penn Staters. And for this optimism, I cannot thank you enough.

Unlike the hundreds of shy people who turn to an anonymous means of expressing their infatuations, I would once again like to thank you for the fantastic Twitter account that you are.

xoxo,

Yuka

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About the Author

Yuka Narisako

Yuka legally immigrated to the United States via airplane in 1996 from the small island nation of Japan. Since then she has migrated throughout the country and now identifies herself as a senior majoring in Architectural Engineering. The Shandygaff is her Happy Place, though she was once kicked out of the establishment after breaking her shoe and screaming “I LOVE DAY DRINKING. I’M HAVING FUN.” Yuka is overly enthusiastic about life in general, but especially Ja Rule, Halloween, and the puffy black vest she purchased from the Gap. You can reach her at [email protected], or through Twitter @yukahontass.

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