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Penn State’s Victory Over Syracuse Honored With Awful Shirt

Today in “this is stupid”: Penn State’s 23-17 victory over Syracuse is being honored with a terrible, terrible T-shirt.

The shirt is being sold by, and features the score, location, day, and the words “VICTORY” obnoxiously placed under a football helmet.

For $17.95, you can remember Penn State’s season-opening win with a T-shirt. Seriously. They played a football game at an NFL arena against an average opponent, so HOLY SHIT LET’S MAKE A SHIRT AND CAPITALIZE ON THIS.

This is dumb. No, this is beyond dumb. This exists in a realm of stupidity that only Tom Green movies and people that like Duck Dynasty exist in. This is a shirt honoring the first football game of the season. Yeah, it was a great game. Christian Hackenberg showed why he was the #1 QB recruit in America (and is getting NFL hype already!). Allen Robinson showed why he is one of the five best receivers in the country. The defense showed that it could lose guys like Michael Mauti, Gerald Hodges, and Jordan Hill without much trouble. Sam Ficken, well, yeah.

But let’s be honest, this is nothing more than a pathetic attempt to capitalize on another football game. The only major difference between this and your average Penn State football game was the location: an NFL stadium that was nearly 20,000 people short of its usual capacity.

I get that this game was a unique experience against a solid opponent in a venue that usually doesn’t host college football games. It was just outside of New York City, it was a close game, and Penn State came out on top. All of that’s lovely.

What isn’t lovely is that some people in suits are now taking advantage of the fact that Penn State fans are possibly the most loyal in all of college football. They know that, if a Penn State logo is thrown onto a shirt with “HAI GUYZ WE WON!!!” plastered on it, tons of people will fork out any reasonable sum of money to have it. And this one only costs $17.95! WHAT A BARGAIN!

Oh, one last thing. Here’s how the shirt is described on the sale page:

Dominating the gridiron is what the Nittany Lions do best, and their win over the Orange on August 31st was no different! Relive their victory over Syracuse with this Score tee. Featuring vibrant team graphics along with the scores from the game, this T-shirt will showcase your Penn State pride while bragging about your awesome team!

No. Seriously. If I was asked to write a parody description of that shirt, I’d probably write that, word for word. God, I hate everything about this shirt.

Personally, I’m saving my money for the Eastern Michigan victory T-shirt.

About the Author


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