As you may have guessed, the line at Indigo is a sea of short dresses, high heels, and hilarity. The guys and girls awaiting entry into Penn State’s hottest nightclub did so dressed to the nines; the dudes were in cologne-drenched button-downs and the ladies looked like Forever21 ads, and from what we* heard, the majority sounded like they had pregamed their Indigo adventure pretty hard. Here’s the latest version of “Overheard at Penn State.”

Guy approaching the bouncer: “Do I show you my Penn State ID, too?”

Guy showing his ID to his friends: “I know, mine’s like a mug shot.”
One of his friends: “You know you can smile, right?”
Guy showing his ID to his friends: “I always thought you couldn’t smile, but apparently you can half smile.”

Girl in a white dress: “Grain alcohol is just, like, vodka. Right?”

Guy in a green polo: “Yeah, the next morning he was like ‘she’s such a riot!’ and I was like ‘what is this, 1993?'”

A guy’s friend as he shows his ID to the bouncer: “It’s a fake! It’s a FAKE! Don’t let him in! Yo, show him your real ID, man!”

Girl in yellow, eyeing another girl judgmentally: “Some girls should not wear belly shirts.”
Her friend: “Most girls should not wear belly shirts.”

Short girl: “Ohmygod I just saw that girl’s whole butt and that’s why I hate rompers.”

A girl, after her friend drops a Slim Jim: “Oh no!” *bends down and picks it up* “I got it! I got the Jim! Jimmy down!”

Blonde girl: “Are you paying my cover?”
Tall guy: “I thought you were paying mine.”
Blonde girl: “Shut the fuck up, don’t piss me off.”

Guy in a blue button-down: “I just had grain alcohol and wine and steak — best meal of my life.”

Guy bending over with his butt sticking out: “It feels so much better standing like this, I swear.”

Guy staring into the reflective surface of the building: “Ooooh, I like this.”

Guy in line, grabbing desperately at any girl who passes: “Hey, baby! Come in with me!”

Guy in a blue shirt, hugging a girl: “Hey, come back to my place tonight.”
Girl he hugged: “Sorry, my boyfriend’s coming.”
Guy in a blue shirt: “So we’ll just find each other inside then?”

Girl in a black skirt: “Hi! Your boobies look nice.”
Girl with the boobies: “Thanks! I have them, I just forget to use them a lot.”
Girl in a black skirt: “You don’t even really need them.”

Drunk girl to a guy in salmon shorts with a light blue polo: “That’s enough, Pastels! This isn’t the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.”

Guy in a black shirt: “I’ve definitely paid for like 25% of her college career through alcohol.”

Girl in black boots: “These girls are all so fucking skinny! Is there a black guy bar I can go to with my big ass to feel sexy?”
Girl in a white shirt: “Yeah, The Den.”

Girl in a blue shirt: “It must be stressful walking by Indigo wearing sweatpants.”

Guy in a pink shirt: “She’s like, all laughing and happy, and she’s not even in Morale.”

Self-conscious girl in harem pants and a crop top: “Do I look pregnant right now? Be honest.”

Girl in a tan dress: “Hey!”
Girl in a blue skirt: “Oh my god, hey! How are you!”
Girl in a tan dress: “Here, get in line with me!”
Girl in a blue skirt, backing away: “Oh sorry, my like actual friend group is back there so…”

Girl with curly hair: “I mean, at least I look hot enough that someone is threatened by me right now.”
Her friend: “It’s ’cause your tits are out.”

Self-conscious girl in blue: “I’m never naked enough for State College.”

Girl taking a picture with the bouncer: “Say cheese!”
The girl taking the picture: “Could you guys awkwardly pose for a second while this loads?”

Girl in a pink shirt: “So I need to be ‘fun,’ and then I need to be ‘sober.’ Like what do they want from me?”

Girl in a black dress: “Tomorrow when you’re sober, think of the song!”

Guy in dark jeans: “I’m fucking tired of hearing about your bed. I’m not in it.”

Girl in yellow: “Wait, how did you meet him?”
Girl in black: “Tinder.”
Girl in yellow: “Wait, isn’t Tinder for sex?”
Girl in black: “WHAT?”
Girl in yellow: “…Nope.”

Tiny girl, to a girl who just arrived: “Ohmygod, until you got here I was the only girl. I was like, head bitch tonight.”

Guy with a beard: “I need a fucking CORN DOGGGGGG.”

*Thank you to my fellow eavesdroppers Katie Blitz and Mara Kern for their contributions to this post.