It’s Halloweekend at Penn State, which means Thirsty Thursday will involve more jungle juice than usual. Of course, Halloween in college is a holiday all in its own. It’s time for some prop bets.

For those of you unfamiliar, allow me to quote Evan Kalikow, Onward State co-founder and luminary: “A prop bet is short for proposition bet. Basically, it’s a bet on something not commonly betted upon. For example, lots of people bet on the score of the Super Bowl, but how many people bet on how many times the winning coach will say “humbled” in the post-game press conference? That’s a prop bet.”

I, of course, must add that I have never gambled on anything other than a scratchy card, and that there is obviously no way for me to actually get accurate counts on any of these bets, and finally ONWARD STATE IS NOT A GAMBLING OPERATION AND YOU SHOULD NOT ACTUALLY PLACE BETS THROUGH US. THAT IS ILLEGAL SO DON’T DO IT.

With that out of the way, let’s make some bets!

Costume-Related Bets

• How many people will dress up like Miley Cyrus for Halloween?

This one is pretty obvious and has probably crossed everyone’s minds at some point this week. Miley is the only thing everyone in America can pay attention to for more than 30 seconds, so it’s a no brainer that she’ll be the front runner. Apparently, there are about 17,860 women at the University Park campus. Probably half of those chicks will go out, so that gives us 8,930. Maybe 10 percent will be Miley. That’s about 893 gals, plus the 100 guys that will inevitably dress like her. Wow! That puts the over/under at 993 humans as Miley Cyrus, just in State College.

• How many people will dress up like JoePa?

Considering I still see people walking around wearing “Joe Knows Football” t-shirts on campus, this had to be included. For this, I am going to bet the entire Board of Trustees will be Joe Paterno, as well as 200 students. That makes the over/under at 230.

• How many Breaking Bad Walt and Jesse couple costumes will there be?

Where would we be without Netflix! I’m gonna say that this is going to be popular because guys don’t usually use Halloween as an excuse to be a “slutty fire hydrant”, but now the holiday has a whole new meaning! The real question is, how many of them are going to actually carry around meth? The over/under is at 300 couples.

• How many fraternities and sororities will make their pledges dress as oompah loompahs?

This is one of the best part of going to frat parties on Halloween. There are other popular costumes for pledges but this one always seems to come back every year. I’m going to put the over/under at three fraternities that will have orange pledges on Halloween.

• How many students will be dressed as minions? 

When did everyone become obsessed with Despicable Me all of a sudden? I think that minions make great GIFs but I think this has officially become a bandwagon movie and costume. (This will also probably be a popular pledge costume). I’ll set the over/under at 350 minions. That seems like an appropriate amount, right? Goodwill only has so many overalls…

Crime-Related Bets

• How many people will puke on the White Loop?

Oh, freshman. Let’s see, there are 7,366 freshman and about 4,000 of them live in East halls. Let’s assume around 2,700 will be taking the White Loop downtown. I’ll set the over/under at 500 students puking on the White Loop. Some people just can’t handle their D.P. Dough!

• How many underages will be handed out?

Now that Penn State Lives Here, I think students will try to be a little more composed! Let’s be optimistic and set the over/under at 20 underages that will be handed out. Those kids visiting from West Chester just can’t hang.

Other Halloween Bets

• Will more students dress up on Thursday or this weekend? 

Penn State students will typically find any excuse to start drinking, but making three different costumes can be time consuming and leaves less money for beer. I think there may be enough nerds that will stay in Thursday night for an exam, quiz, or class that Friday will be the most popular night to dress up. Gotta get down on Friday!

• Thursday: 5-1
• Friday: 3-2
• Saturday: 4-1

• How many times will What Does the Fox Say play?

THERE ARE NEVER TOO MANY TIMES TO PLAY WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY.

• What will be the ratio between Miley at the VMAs vs. Miley in Wrecking Ball?

That VMA leotard is bound to give everyone PTSD by the end of the weekend, but the wrecking ball costume really has potential. Especially after this picture of a pug as the ball. I’m gonna call it 3:2.

• How many people will walk of shame in their costumes?

Everyone loves feeling secondhand embarrassment for the walk of shamers in the morning, but what about the walk of shamer dressed like Captain Underpants? I mean, if your costume is really good, why not get those last few hours out of it? I’m gonna set the over/under at 200 walk of shamers this weekend. (p.s. Give the guy or gal a ride please? C’mon what kind of masochist are you?)

• How many nights this weekend will Boombox Guy wear his Michael Jackson jacket?

For those of you who don’t know, Boombox Guy has a custom made Michael Jackson Thriller jacket in blue and white. Considering it’s been really cold at night and he loves that jacket, I’m gonna say he’ll be wearing it all three nights. And will definitely be at Indigo.