Overheard at Are U Hungry
There are some places that are meant for drunk people. Canyon, Grillers (RIP), D.P. Dough… the delicious, greasy carbs draw in inebriated folk like a magnet every night. But some places are just meant for stoners. When the munchies inevitably rear their ugly head, you bet Are U Hungry will reap the benefits. Sadly, stoners are not quite as loud and verbose as drunkards — in general, they’re a bit more mellow and quiet — so this isn’t quite as ridiculous or lengthy as most in our Overheard series. But this one goes out to all of the stoners who drunkenly decided that they wanted chicken tenders, mozzarella sticks, and french fries — on a sandwich.
Guy unknowingly quoting “10 Things I Hate About You”: “I’m not overwhelmed. But I’m not underwhelmed. I’m just whelmed.”
Girl in a black coat: “She looks pregnant.”
Girl in a leather jacket: “Maybe she’s born with it… maybe it’s insemination.”
Girl in a pink shirt, slowly and sincerely: “You don’t weigh 300 pounds. I think you’re maybe being a little dramatic.”
Girl in a grey hat: “It was ‘fucking awesome,’ as the beloved Macklemore might say.”
Girl in a red t-shirt: “Why didn’t you go to Auburn?”
Girl in a blue sweater: “I don’t like the color orange.”
Girl in a tan sweater: “I need a Fat Ranch in or around my mouth right now.”
Girl in a NorthFace: “I would skip class. I would skip work. I would skip anything, anything, for Law and Order SVU.”
Guy in a blue coat: “Has anyone noticed that the boxing machine has separate options for men and women?”
Girl in leggings: “It’s out of order anyway.”
Guy in a blue coat: “Out of touch is what it is.”
Girl in orange, staring at her food in awe: “There are mozzarella sticks on my sandwich. On my sandwich. My sandwich. Mozzarella sticks.”
Guy following his girlfriend away from the bathrooms: “I’m sorry baby, we don’t have to fuck in the bathroom…”
Blonde guy: “Out of the six people at this table, four have their phones out. Call me old fashioned, but I expected more from social interactions.”
Girl in purple: “John, stop poking me with that umbrella.”
John, very highly: “Whaaaat umbrella.”
Girl standing out front of Are U Hungry: “Wait, Are U Hungry? Where is that at? I don’t understand where you are.”
Girl in a grey sweater: “It’s like when you’re smoking out of a bong and you’re like ‘whose mouth has this been on?'”
Guy in a blue jacket: “Or like when you’re having an orgy and you’re like ‘man, three other people have already sucked this dick.'”
Guy in a black shirt: “I want a Fat Blunt.”
His friend: “Dude, we JUST had a fat blunt.”
Guy in a black shirt: *stares at him, waiting*
His friend: “Oooooh, like the sandwich…”
Guy in a leather jacket: “How do you spell ‘The OC’?”
Blonde girl: “On a scale of one to ten, where’s your dignity at?”
Guy with glasses: “It’s low. Relatively low.”
Girl staring at her phone: “I… I don’t know how to text.”
Guy in a Penn State shirt: “Nickelback gets better with alcohol.”
Blonde girl: “Ugh. Do you think I can flash someone here for mac and cheese bites?”
Random guy, indicating himself: “Yes!”
Blonde girl, disgusted: “Ew, not you.”
Girl not being at all racist but still apologetic: “Oh god, sorry. I didn’t mean to be racist.”
Girl, wrinkling her nose in disgust: “Ew, I thought it was lemonade. That tastes like soda.”
Guy next to her: “You taste like soda.”
Girl, tilting her head in confusion: “But how would you know that?”
Guy in a green shirt: “Well guys, this night will end like all good nights: with a Fat Bitch.”
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About the Author
Penn State wrestling’s 41-3 win against Arizona State was full of convincing wins from top to bottom, namely No. 2 Mark Hall’s 4-0 win against No. 1 Zahid Valencia.
After disbanding in 2014, the PSU Brew Club has finally been given the green light to reactivate next semester.
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