THON Perks We Could All Use
There were a lot of improvements made to THON this year — line overflow at the Pegula, a new wristband system, and dancer support passes just to name a few. Nonetheless, as the sun rises in Happy Valley, it’s becoming more and more apparent that there were a few perks that would have helped getting through the hump that is early morning Sunday. Here’s a short list of things that could improve the experience!
How can you Instagram your friends throwing their diamonds in the air if your phone is dead? Further, if you don’t Instagram THON, were you even there? Are you even FTK? Gotta keep that phone charged! The only problem is that we’re not allowed to use BJC outlets to charge phones this year. Plus, the bad service that comes with so many people in one place means phone batteries are fading faster than usual. It’s hard to imagine that anybody’s phone is over 50% charged right now. Throw us a bone, BJC staff, and give us some outlets or powerstrips.
Some of you people have been here all weekend long, and if you haven’t changed your socks yet, I’m a little grossed out. Also, there is nothing more refreshing than a nice clean pair of socks. Deodorant would also do a lot of wonders for a lot of people right now. Personally, I don’t need a deodorant dispenser because I always smell like flowers and a hint of vanilla, but the boy next to me could definitely use some!
Unlimited Supplies of Mints
Along the same lines as deodorant, if your body stanks, your breath stanks too. I’m not about to suggest everybody start brushing their teeth in the BJC bathrooms, I can’t picture anything more disgusting actually. Some mints would provide a temporary solution to this problem, though, and get us through a few more hours. Plus, a little jolt of sugar isn’t gonna hurt anybody.
Shower on the Go
See above. You all stink.
Our eyes need a break. Wouldn’t it be nice to stare out at a crowd of subtle tones for just a little while? With so many people in the BJC, I’m sure at least one person has synesthesia, and I can only imagine how they’re suffering. At this point, I can barely remember what neutrals look like. My eyes forget how it feels to rest. What is khaki? What is grey? Help.
There’s very little of this left in the BJC at this point. At some point during the night we all lost our concepts of reality. Walk through the concourse and you’ll see the entire spectrum of human emotions. Tears of anger, tears of laughter, tears of joy, tears of anger, but definitely no tears of sanity.
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About the Author
The 20-minute wait for your spot in the queue dwarfs other trials of endurance and actually makes them feel like fleeting moments.
Shoutout to Ticketmaster, for making what was already a stressful, frustrating, and anxiety-riddled process four times as long and ten times as confusing.
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