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The Most Memorable PSUTXTs

Back in May, Penn State announced the beginning of its transition from PSUTXT to PSUAlert. Beginning tomorrow, the new system promises to be an upgrade to its predecessor with “enhanced messaging capabilities,” phone-based voice alerts, and “more robust integration” with social media.

In its lifetime, PSUTXT notified the public of troublesome goings-on in hopes of keeping the Penn State community safe. Along the way, the service sent out had some pretty memorable texts. From early dismissals to stabbings to vague alerts, we took a look back at some of the classics from the soon-to-be-non-existent PSUTXT.

The Suspicious Package: Beaver Stadium Edition Text

All clear, folks.

beaver stadium package

The Nondescript Racist Text

It couldn’t think of any other descriptor? What did the man even say? C’mon, PSUTXT. Penn State apologized for the text later.

black male in HUB

The Suspicious Package: East Parking Deck Edition Text

Might not wanna park here.

east parking deck

The Bomb Threat for EVERY CAMPUS BUILDING Text

Back in high school, an alert like this would’ve meant everyone walked across the street until all was clear. At Penn State, this meant I kept sitting in Schwab Auditorium crying during my roommate’s dance showcase.

nonspecific bomb threat

The Suspicious Package: Pond Lab Edition Text

Mysterious package in Pond? Might as well call it Loch Ness! (My apologies for this terrible joke.)

pond lab

The Infamous Riot Night Text

Bounce.

riot

The Hurricane Sandy Text

Shortly after this was sent, the bottle shops of State College sold out of Hurricane Malt Liquor and “Rock You Like a Hurricane” was played on repeat all day.

sandy

The *~*SnOwDaY*~* Text

Or, I should say snow half day? If you were like me, you still had to give a studio presentation at 3:30 p.m. and are still bitter about it.

snow dismissal

The Ke$ha Text

It’s goin’ down, I’m yelling TIMBERRRRR

tree down

The Shanker Text

Dear PSUTXT, on a scale of butter knife to machete, what kind of knife were we talking about here? And let’s not forget that this person is STILL ON THE LOOSE.

vairo blvd shanker

The Shit Just Got Real Text

Nondescript, suspicious package texts are often ignored by the student population. Things like this, on the other hand, tend to escalate real quickly.

white course

The “Timely” Text

I thought it was about that time!

timely

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About the Author

Yuka Narisako

Yuka legally immigrated to the United States via airplane in 1996 from the small island nation of Japan. Since then she has migrated throughout the country and now identifies herself as a senior majoring in Architectural Engineering. The Shandygaff is her Happy Place, though she was once kicked out of the establishment after breaking her shoe and screaming “I LOVE DAY DRINKING. I’M HAVING FUN.” Yuka is overly enthusiastic about life in general, but especially Ja Rule, Halloween, and the puffy black vest she purchased from the Gap. You can reach her at [email protected], or through Twitter @yukahontass.

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