The Most Memorable PSUTXTs
Back in May, Penn State announced the beginning of its transition from PSUTXT to PSUAlert. Beginning tomorrow, the new system promises to be an upgrade to its predecessor with “enhanced messaging capabilities,” phone-based voice alerts, and “more robust integration” with social media.
In its lifetime, PSUTXT notified the public of troublesome goings-on in hopes of keeping the Penn State community safe. Along the way, the service sent out had some pretty memorable texts. From early dismissals to stabbings to vague alerts, we took a look back at some of the classics from the soon-to-be-non-existent PSUTXT.
The Suspicious Package: Beaver Stadium Edition Text
All clear, folks.
The Nondescript Racist Text
It couldn’t think of any other descriptor? What did the man even say? C’mon, PSUTXT. Penn State apologized for the text later.
The Suspicious Package: East Parking Deck Edition Text
Might not wanna park here.
The Bomb Threat for EVERY CAMPUS BUILDING Text
Back in high school, an alert like this would’ve meant everyone walked across the street until all was clear. At Penn State, this meant I kept sitting in Schwab Auditorium crying during my roommate’s dance showcase.
The Suspicious Package: Pond Lab Edition Text
Mysterious package in Pond? Might as well call it Loch Ness! (My apologies for this terrible joke.)
The Infamous Riot Night Text
The Hurricane Sandy Text
Shortly after this was sent, the bottle shops of State College sold out of Hurricane Malt Liquor and “Rock You Like a Hurricane” was played on repeat all day.
The *~*SnOwDaY*~* Text
Or, I should say snow half day? If you were like me, you still had to give a studio presentation at 3:30 p.m. and are still bitter about it.
The Ke$ha Text
It’s goin’ down, I’m yelling TIMBERRRRR
The Shanker Text
Dear PSUTXT, on a scale of butter knife to machete, what kind of knife were we talking about here? And let’s not forget that this person is STILL ON THE LOOSE.
The Shit Just Got Real Text
Nondescript, suspicious package texts are often ignored by the student population. Things like this, on the other hand, tend to escalate real quickly.
The “Timely” Text
I thought it was about that time!
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About the Author
The 20-minute wait for your spot in the queue dwarfs other trials of endurance and actually makes them feel like fleeting moments.
Shoutout to Ticketmaster, for making what was already a stressful, frustrating, and anxiety-riddled process four times as long and ten times as confusing.
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