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Top Ten Ways to Survive the State College Winter

It’s officially January in State College, which means it’s officially cold as hell. With most students brainstorming life hacks to make the season as comfortable as possible, we here at Onward State thought it would be nice to give you a survival guide to the impending dreadful State College winter. For all those days when it’s a struggle to get out of bed, use our cheat sheet to survive the worst season ever.

1. Switch your weather app to display the temperature in Celsius.

When it’s 32° Fahrenheit, it will be displayed as 0°, when it’s 14° F, it’ll show -10°, etc. Trick yourself into being grateful our temperature system is superior! (If you’re from a place where Celsius is the standard unit, sorry. This is a Top 9 list for you.)

2. Spend all of your time on this website.

One of my personal favorites, it’s filled with #content you can enjoy until our little borough thaws.

3. Drop out.

Head home to the nurturing warmth of your family, and escape the ever-encompassing abyss that is a Penn State winter.

4. Keep playing school.

Alternatively, do not drop out. Most classrooms are excessively heated, so use that to your advantage, push through your classes, and sweat it out.

5. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, take this virtual tour of Florida Gulf Coast University.

There’s no way that a campus can be as warm as that looks. A snowy Lion Shrine beats a campus on the beach anyway.

6. Start a Kickstarter for a Penn State Miami Beach Campus, and then transfer.

At the time of writing, it is 28° in State College and 75° in Miami Beach. Let spring break come to you!

7. Don’t get caught without hot chocolate on hand.

Warming your outsides is one thing, but your core is essential.

8. Go to Pegula, and stay at Pegula.

An ice rink can only get so cold, but the outdoors know no mercy.

9. Wear a coat, sweatpants, or perhaps even heavier clothes.

It’s a rather popular notion that the more clothing you wear, the warmer you’ll be. Who knew science could be this helpful!

10. Harness your inner State College squirrel.

Gather your proverbial nuts, curl up in your own fur, and enjoy your own natural comfort this season.

11. Don’t.

Better luck next year!

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About the Author

Doug Leeson

Doug is a sophomore and Onward State's Assistant Managing Editor. Dislikes: popcorn, Rutgers, and a low #TimberCount. Likes: "Frozen," Rec Hall, and you. Contact him via email at [email protected] or on Twitter @DougLeeson.


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