If you’re at all familiar with Penn State freshman culture, you’re familiar with the infamous “White Loop.” This bus makes endless loops throughout the week, shuttling freshmen to classes, as well as out to fratland.

Our staff selected three lucky writers to be designated drunk, high, or delightfully sober during a night-time experience on the white loop during syllabus week. Here are our recollections of this unforgettable escapade.

Sober

I stroll up the street to East Halls, coherent and very alert: sober as can be. I approach Drunk and High, socializing and chit chatting amicably near the beloved white loop stop. I’m filled with nostalgia as I gaze upon the east halls scenery. That nostalgia is immediately replaced with relief as war flashbacks of “tits out for the boys” and “PENIS” chants flood my mind. Drunk is equipped with a large bottle labeled “Aqua Hydrate,” filled with a clear liquid. As you can guess, she continues to “hydrate” quickly like a business woman. High looks content and at ease. Before we know it, we are boarding the white loop.

It’s 9:30 p.m., so the cattle pen herding in the freshman had not been set up yet. To our surprise, the white loop is rather tame; almost tranquil. The bus is sprinkled with a few plaid-flannel clad young lads, and a few ladies sporting the ever so popular crop top and high waisted booty shorts. One notable blonde is clutching a “pink lemonade beverage.” Hm. Questionable. The rest of the ride is — dare I say it — relaxing. Drunk and High were having a grand old time, and I enjoy watching their inebriation.

Fast forward to 10 p.m. and we make our second round. This time the number of freshman has increased exponentially, like rabbits. We look out the window and prepare for a juicy plot twist, bracing ourselves for a hurricane of Victoria’s Secret perfume and shouting frat boys. The underclassman are lined up like cattle, and I almost suspected the frat boys to start digging their sneakers into the ground like bulls ready to charge. The freshman ladies stand their ground. Ah yes. The territorial need to secure your rightful spot on the woop!  I recall fondly.

The remainder of our cruise along State College was now filled with more giddiness and energy. A few girls in front of us rattle off some Frat names, which fly over my head even in my sharp state of sobriety. To my surprise , there was no chanting. Not even one feeble, “ayyyy we want some pussaay!” Drunk, High, and I are having a jolly old time. And by this point, especially Drunky! She had proudly polished off her entire “Aqua Hydrate” bottle and was giggling and chortling.

This sober experience on the white loop was certainly something, but nothing compared to a wild Friday or Saturday night. On this humble night, the experience was almost soothing. If I were to experience this sobriety on a Halloween evening, however? Not so much.

Drunk:

Making fun of freshmen is an upperclassman pastime — because we’re jealous. I was definitely talking smack for the duration of the ride. I mean, when I was a freshman, the white loop was the best. I think I kept saying that to innocent patrons of the white loop on this fine Wednesday evening — or I was completely silent and imagined saying it.

Anyways, I was extremely hydrated to say the least. I was doing the most, and I still am doing the most. I lowkey left my satchel on the bus, however, and I like to think I made the freshmen bond tonight because this was literally the only time they chanted. I got a standing (everyone was standing anyways, but whatever) ovation. I got my satchel back, and I will never make fun of freshmen again. God bless.

High:

Being high on the white loop is a life-changing experience. A bit nostalgic, but way more enjoyable. It was a pretty sparse crowd, unlike the typical weekend bull rush. Sober seemed to be enjoying herself, but Drunk was just having the time of her life. I personally was just enjoying the ride. Being in the state of mind that I was, everything was awesome, and I was floating.

The conversations were interesting to say the least. Again, it made me think back to my own freshman year, making the countless trips out to fratland. I just sort of sat there the whole time, taking everything in as we went along. I had some fun conversations with Drunk and Sober, but shied away from having any other meaningful human interaction — for obvious reasons.

The end of the loop was probably the most eventful, as Drunk forgot her satchel in the back seat. The freshmen, drunk as they were, reaffirmed my faith in humanity with an act of kindness, as they formed into some giant superfreshman to bring the satchel to the front. People cheered, it was amazing, and I was still high out of my mind! It was, to say the least, a top-ten time to be alive. I now love those little freshmen for their incredibly generous act, but wouldn’t go on the white loop as high as I was again.