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Worms With Machine Guns And Peak Dadbods: The Year In Jim Harbaugh

Here we go, y’all. It’s Michigan week, and that means it’s time to take a look into one of the more peculiar characters in sports: Head Coach Jim Harbaugh.

Harbaugh took over for Brady Hoke in late December at Michigan after a four-year stint with the San Fransisco 49ers that included a Super Bowl appearance. In his 10.5 months at the Wolverines’ helm, Harbaugh has had interview after interview that have u. We found the most interesting so the viewers at home can know more about the tall man in the khakis this Saturday.

Lots of credit for this list goes to SB Nation, and their collection of stories under the aptly titled umbrella “Jim Harbaugh is Weird.”

It all began in late January when the following tweet came out. We’ve never seen James Franklin, Urban Meyer, or Mark Dantonio playing tiny instruments, but Harbaugh doesn’t care.

His quirkiness carried into his recruiting tactics. When four-star 2016 DT Boss Tagaloa prom-posed with candy, Jim Harbaugh thought it was so cute that he tried the same technique.

A few months later, the table turned and it was Harbaugh’s turn to be surprised by a high-profile star. Michigan signed a deal with Nike that included the “Jumpman” logo on its jerseys, so the Jumpman himself, Michael Jordan called to give his congratulations. In true Harbaugh fashion, the conversation didn’t go smoothly. He first thought Michael Jordan was a prank-caller and kept asking for verification of his identity.

Two more highlights came when No. 7 Michigan State traveled to Ann Arbor to play No. 12 Michigan. College Gameday was in town, which let Michigan fans show off their creativity with signs. Predictably, Jim Harbaugh was a popular subject with his face ‘shopped over Simba’s and he had a sign dedicated to him saying “Khakis and Chill?”

espn harbaugh

Michigan State won on a last-second blocked punt returned for a touchdown. What was expected to be a telling post-game press conference turned into the best thing that happened all year:

A reporter asked about what could’ve gone differently for Michigan in the game, and an increasingly prouder Harbaugh said, “I’m not into the ‘If this, if that’ type of scenarios. If worms had machine guns, then birds wouldn’t be scared of them.”

Are we talking about worm-sized machine guns? Does he know what size and shape worms are? And why would birds be less scared of worms if they had firearms?

But as unique as he’s proven himself, Harbaugh actually draws some comparisons with our very own James Franklin. Here is Harbaugh tweeting a picture of Lil Wayne, and here is Franklin with Flava Flav. Here is Franklin gunning a fastball at a Yankees game (and here he is at a Phillies game). Harbaugh, a former Michigan and NFL quarterback, is likely one of the only coaches in college football who can rival his cannon, as he proved at a Detroit Tigers game. That being said, we’ve never seen James Franklin like this.

Yes, there’s an album if you want to see more. Since you probably don’t, quickly direct your eyes to Jim Harpaw:

So there we have it. One of the most colorful characters in a calculated PR-friendly industry is coming to Happy Valley this weekend with his 8-2 Wolverines. Here’s hoping they leave the White Out conditions with a loss under their belts, but no matter what, keep on rockin’, Jim.


About the Author

Doug Leeson

Doug is a sophomore and Onward State's Assistant Managing Editor. Dislikes: popcorn, Rutgers, and a low #TimberCount. Likes: "Frozen," Rec Hall, and you. Contact him via email at [email protected] or on Twitter @DougLeeson.


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