Willard Preacher Rebrands As The Chillard Preacher
Gary Catell, commonly known as the Willard Preacher, is trading in his signature red sweatshirt for a pair of black skinny jeans. It’s rumored he is rebranding himself as the “Chillard Preacher,” and will move his sermons from his former pulpit at the Willard Building to Saint’s Cafe.
The Chillard Preacher was reportedly riding a fixed gear bicycle down Curtin Road and even vaping outside of Pattee and Paterno Libraries. An anonymous tip told Onward State he was at Chronic Town purchasing the latest Arcade Fire album on used vinyl and asking the staff if they would play Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” backwards.
We wanted to investigate further, so we sent one of our writers to sit in on the new sermon. The preacher came to Saint’s Cafe decked out in a red beanie, dark destroyed jeans, a “Feel The Bern” t-shirt and thick-rim sunglasses last seen on Urban Outfitters clearance rack.
“Let us amplify our vibes to the greater than,” the Preacher told his congregation as he passed his vape pen around the crowd. “This is a safe space where we are free to be you and me.” The preacher explained that he now refers to Jesus Christ simply as “JC.”
He asked that the crowed join hands as he played a cover of the George Harrison hit “My Sweet Lord” on his acoustic guitar.
“Go out and spread the love and peace on campus,” the Chillard Preacher said to close the sermon. “Just make sure you don’t fornicate, or you’ll still go to hell.”