Welcome to Happy Valley, class of 2020. This year is bound to be one of the most electrifying experiences of your lives thus far. You’re coming to one of the best towns in the country and your next four (or five…or seven) rotations around the sun can be whatever you want them to be. You are the envy of most upperclassmen.

With the excitement of a brand new place comes an undeniable element of fear, though. I have vivid memories of my freshman self Googling anything that popped into my mind: Should I join a sorority? How hard are club sports? Is there really a pool on the roof of Old Main? 

As an out-of-stater, there was no one from my high school I could ask about anything Penn State related. Even if I did have that person, I probably wouldn’t have asked because I wanted to seem like I had it all figured out. I’d later learn that’s a terrible way to actually figure anything out.

It’s okay to have questions. You should have a lot of them.

I’m about to embark on my Super Senior year, so trust me, I know a thing or two about life at Penn State. Let me be the Ned Bigby of your college career. Ask me anything you want to know about the glorious, terrifying, sometimes hedonistic place you’re about to call home. I’ll answer as honestly as I can and I promise I won’t make fun of you.

Here’s some unsolicited advice to start us off: The second you invest time into worrying if wearing a lanyard makes you look uncool, you’ve already lost. If you do feel like wearing a lanyard, though, you better rock it. A half-assed lanyard is definitely uncool.