Editor’s Note: This post was an attempt at satire which unfortunately missed the mark. We regret the mistake and will learn from it to better our editorial process.

What’s a week of drinking and debauchery without an official theme song? You already know the tune of this one, so it’s sure to become your latest sylly week anthem. “Closer” is really, really, really getting old, anyway. We present to you “Black Out, State” to the melody of “Fight On, State”:

Black out State (GO!)
Black out State (GO!)
Take a shot and grin, (LET’S GO STATE!)
STDs we predict for thee
We’re ever true to you, Café, Phyrst, and Bar Bleu.
Black out State, (GO!)
Black out State, (GO!)
Chug, Lions, chug: (LET’S GO STATE!)
We’ll hit that line, roll up a joint,
Class this week just has no point,
Drink on, on, on, on, on, Drink on, on, Penn State!
(S-T-A-T-E GO! STATE!)

You won’t be listening to your professor explain the syllabus tomorrow morning either way, so drink up and black out, Penn State. Brave the weather, take the shot, and chug that beer — this week won’t come around again for another eight months. Unless you count Arts Fest…in which case, take another shot to celebrate.