The Official THON 2018 Line Dance Lyric Power Ranking
It’s just Saturday morning, but with the eternal “DANCER RELATIONS CAPTAINS TO THE STAGE” ringing in our ears, most in the BJC are bound to have most if not all of the line dance lyrics memorized and internalized like the quadratic formula. Every line dance has its moments that really stick with people, whether with hilarity or seriousness. But while everyone is busy dancing and experiencing sleep depravation, let’s rank the best lines of this year’s line dance that will get you through until Sunday afternoon.
Zagsters make debut on campus // Goodbye Angel, hello Canvas
Unsigned Chance steals the show // Despacito, take it slow
Courage, for the sea // Look within for honesty
10. Fidget spinners all the craze // Vine has seen better days
This line caught me off guard a tad, since I forgot that fidget spinners were a thing. But then I remembered that Vine was a thing, at least for a few glorious years. And every Dancer Relations Captain who sang that line always gave it a hint of regret. Fitting.
9. Tom Petty falling free // Classic rock legacy
RIP. Many of us were raised on this dude’s music. From playing with his Heartbreaks to jamming with his supergroup, the Traveling Wilburys (only two alive now), he could play guitar like Keith Richards and sing like Dylan. I didn’t expect the shoutout, it came as a pleasant surprise, and I’m glad to know the man is appreciated.
8. Cubs today, future lions // Impact change with Four Diamonds
At first this just seems like a cute little line about lion cubs, but if you look a tad deeper you realize that this line is about the THON children. Helping change their battle with cancer for the better and help make these cubs into strong, future lions, and it’s all because of you and me.
7. Bitcoin make it rain // Phelps and shark, stay in your lane
I was one of the few out of my friends who didn’t invest in Bitcoin at all, and seeing how they all either lost money or made only marginal gains, it made me feel smarter for having absolutely no idea how cryptocurrency works. And then our national hero Michael Phelps did indeed “race” a shark, but no doubt due to Russian collusion Phelps lost. In my mind he can never lose and it’ll stay like that. Phelps can give us all an idol to look up to during THON. Keep grinding.
6. Go Fiesta, win out west // Hockey, they’re Big Ten’s best
Cheering on both the Big Ten winning hockey team and the Fiesta Bowl champion football team gave Happy Valley plenty to be happy about. Note the nice rhyming too, Fiesta, west, best, and Ten’s all give a nice consistent “s” consonance. Add in the mini alliteration with “win out west” and you’ve got some lines that Edgar Allen Poe would enjoy.
5. One love, Vegas strong // Donation lines miles long
Great job focusing on the unifying moments of the year, like when people from every background lined up to give blood to all the victims of the Vegas tragedy. THON is about lots of people coming together to make a difference out of the kindness of their hearts, and this line reminds us that this kinds of effort happens all the time.
4. Cardi B makes money moves // Ooh, look what you made me do
Just such a solid introduction to the dance break. That Cardi B line makes us feel all sorts of swagger before T-Swift makes us all think, “Oh yeah, look what you made me do! Time to bust a move!” puts the dancers in the right move to power through that dance break and then plow through the rest of the line dance.
3. Journey further to uncover // Tomorrow’s wonder we discover
The little animation they play during this line is always cool, watching as the whale comes into the picture and the man pulls out his telescope to look into the great beyond. A great way to tie things up with a neat little bow and show us how everything adds up to the common theme of discovering tomorrow’s wonder.
2. Eagles fly, Pens win cup // Trust the process, buckle up
Full disclaimer, I did not pick this lyric to be this high up solely because I believe Sam Hinkie died for our sins and that I bleed green and black, but because this line was guaranteed a reaction either from Philly or Pittsburgh fans during the wee small hours of the morning or the late afternoon. It’s always fun watching an Eagles fan be torn from their dancing trance at 3 a.m. to give a little “Go Birds!” before drifting back into whatever state they were in.
1. Boom! Stomp! Break the thunder // Dancing for tomorrow’s wonder
Each time the “Boom!” hit I could feel the entire BJC wake up from whatever daze they were in. What a dramatic and powerful line to dance to! It’s such a declarative statement, literally going “boom, boom” with each word. And how does someone even break thunder? By being the largest student-run philanthropic organization in the world, baby. And then after we’re all hyped, they remind us what this is all for. All those kid’s futures, all that wonder that we’re helping them to experience.
Agree? Disagree? Let us know what your favorite 2018 Line Dance lyrics are in the comments below and stay tuned for more THON content over the weekend.
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About the Author
ESPN’s signature pregame show will return to the iconic Old Main Lawn on Saturday morning.
Gene Rockey — an employee in Copy Services for the past 26 years — will retire this week after more than 30 years of service to Penn State.
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