Penn State’s bat and ball sports could certainly use some help, having won just 14 of their 52 games this season. We’re just bloggers, so we probably can’t help the two teams’ lineups. But it’s still fun to dream. If we were going to step up to the plate for the Nittany Lions, we would need to have the perfect walk-up songs.

Here’s what would be blasting for our staff members:

Anthony Colucci — Nelly’s “Here Comes the Boom”

This song’s short appearance in “The Longest Yard” gave us one of the most badass moments in cinematic history when Nelly and Michael Irvin joined Adam Sandler’s football team. What better way to liven up a baseball game, walk up to the plate, and make the pitcher regret ever picking up a ball than blasting Nelly saying “Y’all don’t really want it now”? Just don’t be the guy who strikes out after coming out to “Here Comes the Boom.”

Cori Bugenhagen — Usher’s “Bad Girl”

Because I’m a boss ass bitch that runs shit and that song is THAT.

Derek Bannister — Camila Cabello’s “Havana (Remix)”

Just when you thought that Havana by Camila Cabello couldn’t get any better, she dropped a SPANISH remix on us with a red hot feature from Daddy Yankee. The sweet sound of the Spanish language takes you to a hotbed of baseball: Cuba. Walking up to such a song immediately increases your chances of cranking a homer and disrespecting the picture with a bat flip for the ages. “Soy el domador de todas las nenas malas.” Mmmm, tell ’em, Daddy. With lyrics like that bumping through the speakers, you’d be unstoppable.

Elissa Hill — Demi Lovato’s “Sorry, Not Sorry”

If I were ever to become coordinated enough to play softball, my walkup song would definitely be Sorry Not Sorry by Demi Lovato. Except I’d probably get distracted by singing along. Then again I’m not athletic anyway, so I’ll stick to singing it on road trips.

Emma Dieter — Cardi B’s “Bodak Yellow”

Cardi B is a badass and she knows it, okurrr. Need I say more?

Ethan Kasales — Mac DeMarco’s “Freaking Out the Neighborhood”

I haven’t played baseball since my Babe Ruth days when I was 15, but that dream of getting your own walk-up song some day was as real then as it is now. I’ll go with one of DeMarco’s staples from his live shows for mine.

Gabi Stevenson — Beyonce’s “***Flawless”

Wake up, flawless. Post up, flawless. Step up to the plate, apparently, flawless.

Hayden Christ — Gucci Mane and Waka Flocka Flame’s “15th & The 1st”

Flocka is perfect to get you in your zone guy and will only produce greatness.

Jack Hargraves-Dix — The Clash’s “London Calling”

I studied abroad in London last summer so I’m basically from there now. Plus, it’s a song that’s so powerful and scary that it could put the fear of God into the pitcher.

Liam McCall — Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir”

The legendary riff pays homage to Chase Utley.

Mary Frances Pillion — “Green Onions” by Booker T. & the M.G.’s

If you don’t know why I picked this song, you’re killing me Smalls.

Matt Paolizzi — House of Pain’s “Jump Around”

I want something that gets me amped up. I want to be energized and get ready to slam some balls out of the park. “Jump Around” is one of those classic jams that gets me hyped every time I listen to it, so most definitely I’ll be walked out to it.

Nathaniel Pinskey — Jimmy Neutron Theme Song

Because I would be juiced up on purple flurp and blast home runs.

Shannon Soboslay — Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like A Woman”

Honestly my walkup song would be basic like Here Comes the Boom but ideally I would have something along the lines of Man! I Feel Like a Woman playing. Guaranteed triple right there.

I’d be strutting up to the plate if this was blasting. Partly because this song is awesome, but also because hopefully the pitcher will think I’m conceited as hell and go head hunting. I’m certainly not getting on base without a free pass.