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I Rode The Mechanical Bull At Champs And I Liked It

On Tuesday afternoon, I learned that a mechanical bull would be blessing the hallowed halls of Champs Downtown. Champs bought the mechanical bull from Mechanical Bull Sales, Inc., a State College-based company that has become the largest of its sort in the world.

I was certainly intrigued at the prospect, but I also wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it all. But when a mechanical bull ride presents itself, can you really say no?

Yes, I had to convince myself to make my way to a local watering hole on a Tuesday night. And yes, I had no intention of actually riding the bull at any point leading up to actually entering Champs.

But when I had finished a glass of Evil Genius Trust The Process, I felt the power of former Sixers GM Sam Hinkie flowing through me. As the description of the beer states, “Brewed with the blood of Sam Hinkie, who died for your sins.”

After reading that, I knew what I had to do. Oh, and the constant country music really didn’t hurt either. So I went over to the mechanical bull, signed a waiver, took off my shoes, and just sent it. Here’s the video:

https://twitter.com/dBannister42/status/1037189744608862210

When I got on the wild beast, I wasn’t sure what to expect. In hindsight, I would have looked way cooler if I threw one hand up in the air and wore a cowboy hat, but at least I know that for my future bull rides. I recommend squeezing your legs together with all the force you have and hoping for the best.

Champs made the decision to purchase this mechanical bull in an effort to continue innovating in the face of increased competition. The bull will make an appearance every Tuesday night as part of “PBR Night.” PBR stands for Professional Bull Riders, Inc., which is branded as part of the mechanical bull, and Pabst Blue Ribbon.

As hesitant as I was to go out on a school night, Tuesdays at Champs may be the move. The bar offers a 16-ounce Pabst Blue Ribbon and a shot of whiskey for $4, as well as half-price happy hour from 10 p.m. to midnight. If that’s not enough, how about $1 nachos from 9 p.m. until midnight?

Tuesdays aren’t officially country nights at Champs, as the DJ will play whatever customers request, but with a mechanical bull there, it seems pretty natural.

Folks, as I sit here reflecting upon my time riding that bull, I cannot recommend the bull ride highly enough. If for no one else, do it for our lord and savior Sam Hinkie.


Editor’s note: Happy Valley Restaurants, which includes Champs Downtown, is a sponsor of Onward State. While the bar provided additional info about Tuesday specials, all opinions herein are the certified honest thoughts of Onward State Sports Editor Derek Bannister. However, let it be known that getting Derek to come to Champs on a Tuesday night took not only his own self-convincing but also the convincing of Onward State Managing Editor Elissa Hill.

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About the Author

Derek Bannister

Derek is a senior majoring in Economics and History. He is legally required to tell you that he's from right outside of Philly. Email Derek compliments and dad-jokes at [email protected].

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