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The Official Big Ten Championship Drinking Game

Penn State may not have made it to the Big Ten Championship this year, but why should that stop Nittany Lion fans from having a good time? A football Saturday is a football Saturday with or without the Nittany Lions, so here is our official Big Ten Championship drinking game!

  • Before kickoff, crack open your beer and take a big gulp to get things started.
  • Every time the announcers mention Ohio State’s blowout of Michigan, lean back, smile, take a long satisfying gulp of your drink and remember: James Franklin has won the Big Ten more than Jim Harbaugh.
  • When Northwestern takes the field, realize just how bad the Big Ten West is and take a shot.
    • If the announcers decide to use some stupid cliche and call the Wildcats “tough” or “gutsy” because they aren’t that good, rip another shot.
    • If Northwestern’s loss to Akron (or its close calls against Illinois and Rutgers) get brought up, take a looong gulp and wish Penn State was in the Big Ten West.
  • Every time the announcers gush over how amazing Dwayne Haskins is, laugh, take a sip, and don’t forget that Trace McSorley is far better.
  • Every time Urban Meyer is shown doubled over with his hands on his knees, take a gulp and wonder if the guy needs a back brace or something.
  • If Ohio State gets a field goal blocked and returned for a touchdown, spike your drink, pour another one, and chug.
  • Every time a receiver on either team drops a pass, take a sip and take solace in the fact that other teams’ wide receivers suck, too.
  • If Northwestern can somehow keep the game within 14 points, salute its “gutsy” effort by finishing your drink.
  • Ifย When Ohio State wins, begrudgingly take a gulp. Seeing the Buckeyes win is never fun, but this boosts Penn State’s New Year’s Six hopes.

Have fun, and drink responsibly!

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Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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