Your Worst Penn State Freshman Roommate Horror Stories
Last week, we asked you to send in your most horrifying freshman roommate stories. Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of them. The responses ranged over a 37 year span — some dated back to 1982, while others were from just a few weeks ago.
We received multiple horror stories about bodily fluids, which made us gag and laugh simultaneously. There’s nothing worse than having your dorm room essentially turn into a “private” bathroom for the evening.
But if reading stories about freshmen peeing in sinks (or on their roommates) are your thing, then keep reading for part one of your worst roomie horror stories.
Communal Bathroom? Think Again.
2017, Pinchot Hall
“The first day we moved in, my roommate told me she had an addiction to laxatives. She would not eat for 3 days and then constantly take Miralax. She would run to the bathroom constantly to have diarrhea, as well as throw up in our room trash can daily and farting in her sleep so loud that it would wake me up. She transferred after the first semester.”
2016-17, Runkle Hall
“It was a suite with four girls, including one who was a VERY spoiled only child. One night, completely sober, she pooped on the floor and another roommate who woke up for an early morning workout stepped in it with BARE FEET in the dark.”
2009, Hamilton Hall
“During finals week, my roommate came home in the middle of the night dressed as a sailor. He fell asleep almost immediately so I thought nothing further. I was awoken in the middle of the
2018-19, Bigler Hall
“My roommate came in drunk and went to sleep. I figured she was done for the night and got ready for bed. The lights went out and all of a sudden I heard a trickling sound. She peed in our trash can then proceeded to finish on the carpet. She then pooped and threw up all over it and the next morning INSISTED we keep the carpet.”
Get A Room.
2017, East Halls
“My roommate and I, let’s call her ‘Bridget,’ were very compatible in the beginning. As it started getting colder and cuffing season was upon us, Bridget told me she got a Tinder. She was going out on dates, and one night she brought some random guy back to do the dirty, and she politely asked me to leave for a while, so I did. Well, when I got back neither of them were there, and I decided to take to a shower. But as I was going to get a pair of underwear, all of my panties were gone! I looked all over and there were none. So, instead of going to take a shower, I headed downtown to buy some more. When I got back, I confronted Bridget about it and she said that ‘Nick’ would not do such a thing. After that, we did not talk again until the spring semester started. She and Nick started dating. One night I went to bed early and they came back, oblivious to the fact that I was still there. After they did the dirty, she went to the bathroom and right as she left Nick headed straight to my underwear drawer. I instantly got up and started flipping out, calling him a pervert amongst other things. He was utterly surprised I was there and kept stuttering trying to make an excuse. When Bridget came back in and saw what was happening, she yelled at him asking why he only took mine. All Nick could say was that he sells women’s underwear on the side for extra
2016, Thompson Hall
“My roommate and I both arrived on a Saturday, and things seemed to be going well at first. Until one night I went to sleep about midnight, and he was out going to a party. I then woke up at 2 a.m. to a naked girl riding my roommate. I didn’t know what to do, and just put headphones in and closed my eyes. About an hour later it finally ended.”
2016-17, Pollock Halls
“My freshman roommate liked to get caught in the act. The most graphic time it happened I came home around 10 p.m. and opened my door and there she and her boyfriend were doing the deed. I was so shocked and they didn’t stop! I ran to my friend’s room freaking out and didn’t end up going back for 2 hours. A few months after I was in the hospital for a GI infection. I came back the next day to find her bottle of lube on my bookshelf and a couple of condom wrappers under my bed. So, I guess my bed went to good use while I was away.”
2017-18, Hamilton Hall
“My roommate and I didn’t talk much. One morning I was awoken by the unmistakable sound of someone whacking it. I peaked over my desk across the room to see my roommate spread out on his bed masturbating. He didn’t notice me as he was too enthralled by the porn playing on his laptop. In an attempt to get him to stop I stood up while looking in the opposite direction. He was unfazed. He simply propped up a pillow to block my view of his junk. He later said that he had started while I was still asleep and assumed I would give him the common courtesy to finish. I caught him masturbating at least twice a week every week. He once started crying after I caught him claiming, he ‘couldn’t control his addiction.’ Then literally two minutes later he was back at it, beating his meat.”
It’s SNOT You, It’s Me
2015-16, Chace Hall
“She had a super nasty cough for two months. I kept telling her to go to the doctor because her coughing would keep me up all night. One day, she had a massive coughing fit and projectile vomited all over herself, her bed, and her floor. She caught some of it in her hands too. She then looked at me and said ‘uh, what should I do now.’ She made me call housing and get it cleaned up. I forced them to take her to the hospital where she was diagnosed with severe bronchitis. I went to Res Life the same day and changed rooms by the end of the day.”
2014, Shulze Hall
“My roommate was generally a disaster (running wild, following me around, getting hammered and bringing random guys back to our dorm, starting drama in our friend group). She also got mono and refused to leave the room until I made her go to the hospital. The final straw though was when she came back after winter break and announced that she had bitten her mom and might be getting pulled out of school by her family. W. T. F.”
2016, Leete Hall
“I lived in supplemental housing in North. That meant there were 6 boys in one room. 4 of us happened to be the same major and the other 2 were just random. One of the randoms was super disciplined and we never had a problem with him. The other one was a different story. In the 9 months, we lived together, I never witnessed him take a single shower or even brush his teeth. He never attended classes. We lived in bunks and he had a bottom bunk and he hung up a sheet to create a little cave for himself. It sealed in his stench so whenever he opened it, the smell would seep out into our room. At one point, his little siblings started lodging with him. We would be getting ready for our day and a little 12-year-old boy would just roll out. All the while, we never spoke more than 3 words to him.”
Some of these stories have been lightly edited for length and clarity.
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About the Author
Roll your eyes all you want. This is a “We Are” moment if I’ve ever seen one.
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