Staff Picks: The Best Flow In Penn State Athletics
As winter sports have gotten underway here at Penn State, the number of athletes that our staff focuses on has sky-rocketed. With so many athletes now garnering our attention, we noticed that there are many people involved with Penn State sports that have some bitchin’ hairstyles.
Is it the Flow Bros, who match their insane leg strength with their long, luscious locks? Or could it be a Penn State coach, such as the ageless beauty of Guy Gadowsky’s slicked-back swagger? Are there any dark horse candidates that deserve recognition over the favorites?
Naturally, we set off to find out which person is rocking the best flow on campus, but our staff couldn’t come to a consensus. Here are some of the cases that were made for Best Flow across Nittany Lions athletics:
Mikey Mandarino: Alex Limoges
Limoges easily has the best flow of any athlete on this campus, and I don’t think it’s particularly close. No disrespect to Penn State football’s flow bros, but the profiles of Jordan Stout and Blake Gillikin are only boosted because of football’s popularity.
Limoges’ curly flow gives him lettuce fit for only the finest salads. Plus, the flow helped him finish as college hockey’s leading point-scorer last season and the first player to put up 50 points in Penn State hockey history. If Limoges played high school hockey in Minnesota, he’d be the easiest contender for the state’s All-Hockey Hair Team (which, if you haven’t seen it, is electricity defined).
Anthony Fiset: Blake Gillikin
Anyone can grow their hair out and call it flow, but only a special breed of individuals have the moxie to walk into a barbershop and demand the ol’ ‘business-in-front-party-in-back.” Only the best special-teamer, the captain of the unit, can rock that lethal, blond flow.
Frankly, it takes balls, and that’s what Gillikin has — a whole lot of balls that he launches like nukes all the way to the opponent’s 1-yard line. Incredible stuff, Blake. That’s a nice bowl of lettuce on yer’ head, son.
Mira DiBattiste: Jordan Stout
I can’t believe this is even a question. The best flow in all of Penn State athletics belongs to kicker Jordan Stout. Stout has TEXTBOOK gorgeous flow.
It’s thick enough to provide luscious curls at the ends, but not unmanageably thick. It’s the perfect, just-above-the-shoulder length to appease *those* alumni, which also means those curls at the end rim the bottom of his helmet like a perfect little garland. He’s got some nice layers in there, where the front is slightly shorter than the back, but it’s NOT a mullet, and thank god for that.
When Stout has his hair down in daily life, it looks great, but don’t even get me started about the signature gameday headband/headwrap thing he’s got going on. I mean come on. Talk about fashion AND function. The pieces that fall in front of the headband frame his face in such a flattering way, all while keeping his hair in place so that it doesn’t interfere with those fantastic 50-yard field goals.
Mitch Stewart: Mike Watkins
Watkins has received plenty of fanfare from his coaches and teammates for the improvements he’s made on and off the floor this season, but one massive improvement has been wildly understated – his new hairstyle.
Big Mike showed up to BALL this year, sporting some fresh, short dreadlocks that without a doubt make him the baddest big man in the Big Ten. As I’ve watched those locks bounce around while he skies up for a dunk or when he jumps up to spike an opponent’s shot through the hardwood, it’s impossible to neglect how awesome his new flow is. Maybe Dreadlock Mike Watkins is the missing piece to Penn State hoops finally getting over the hump and making the Big Dance. Big Mike deserves to have Bill Raftery ‘ooo’ and ‘ahhh’ over his upgraded hair.
Samuel Brungo: Tyson Cooper
Former State College High School catcher and current Nittany Lion baseball player Tyson Cooper is a sleeper pick for this year’s award for best flow. He sports luscious blonde locks that catch every bit of wind. When shorter, his hair sticks the perfect length out of his hat, and when longer, it sits on his shoulders. Inspired by Ric Flair, Cooper’s lettuce is a staple of his look Rumor has it, he doesn’t use shampoo or conditioner, just blood, sweat, and tears.
Will Pegler: James Franklin
When considering Nittany Lions with great hair, everyone loves to talk about Jordan Stout’s luscious locks or Blake Gillikin’s magnificent mane. But what about James Franklin’s beautiful noggin?
Penn State fans tend to take the coach’s perfectly polished head for granted, but I find it to be a lovely sight to look at on game day. I love to see the sunlight bounce off of it as he stands on the sideline calling plays or yelling at refs. During the White Out, Franklin’s head quite literally reflects white-hot light off of it. I would go as far as to say that Franklin has the best hairstyle of any coach in college football (step aside, Mike Gundy). As they say, the best swagger is no swagger.
Thus, the best flow is no flow. (see also: Pat Chambers and Cael Sanderson)
Which Penn State sports personality do you think has the best flow? Take your stance to the comment section and prove your case.
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About the Author
We took a stab at predicting what Schreyer grads’ theses might be about.
From Arby’s to In-N-Out, the possibilities are endless.
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