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A Social Media Mogul In The Making: Micah Parsons’ Best Tweets

By Gabe Angieri and Ryan Parsons

Micah Parsons is a consensus All-American, 2019 Big Ten Linebacker of the Year, and one of the best players in college football.

Off the field, however, some would say Parsons is a full-blown social media mogul. The star linebacker is often sharing the hilarious thoughts that go through his head on Twitter. When reading his tweets, it’s easy to see how relatable they are. Whether he is tweeting about love, Madden, or just his random thoughts, you can use some of his wisdom and apply it to your own life.

With far too many to count, we narrowed down Parsons’ collection to his 21 best tweets. Without further ado, let’s take a deep dive into the timeline of a social media mogul in the making.

Micah Parsons: Frustrated Madden Player

Madden NFL has been one of the most popular yet rage-inducing video games on the market for many years. If you follow Parsons on Snapchat, he’s constantly talking shit to his Madden opponents, who are often his Penn State football teammates. But when things don’t go his way, he’ll take to Twitter with his often-justified rage.

When you’re an elite defender in real life, it makes sense to be frustrated when your in-game players can’t make the same impact on the Madden field as you do on the gridiron.

Depicted above is the final stage of grief: acceptance. Unfortunately, just a couple days later, he was back to being #MadOnline about Madden, thus beginning yet another grief cycle all over again.

It appears he was proven otherwise.

To truly bring the tweet to life, here’s a visualization of Parsons yeeting his Xbox One off the HUB Parking Deck.

Fast forward to 2025, Parsons is upset about his Madden rating being only a 92.

Or, fast forward to 2020 where he exists in the 2021 draft class of Madden’s Franchise mode and is only an 83 overall. Sorry, Micah. We’re doing our best to develop you into a superstar.

Thoughts On Love & Relationships

Love and relationships are tricky and complicated subjects for everyone, especially college students. Lucky for us, Parsons sends out dating tips and relationship thoughts onto the timeline daily.

Do NOT order a steak if you’re out on a date with Micah Parsons. Unless you’re trying to fire up the ol’ Venmo app, stick to something on the cheaper side.

If you receive a text from a girl and it comes up green, block that number ASAP. iMessage makes a big difference!

You should hope to someday be as confident as Micah Parsons. Never doubt your worth, folks.

A Micah Parsons tackle: Powerful. Love: POWERFUL.

Random Thoughts

The rest of these tweets don’t really fit into a specific category but are still quality #content.

Might be a couple seats open in Spanish 001 before NSO starts, Micah.

Much 2 think about.

Pain.

This was almost a nice tweet, eh?

Perhaps this is a ploy to show he doesn’t have allegiance to any certain team before he starts the NFL Draft process. Micah’s out here playing chess, not checkers.

Analysis: Micah Parsons is in debt to the State College Parking Department.


In the market for more Micah Parsons content? Add him on Snapchat (@supersexy34) to view his daily life or follow him on Twitter to see the wisdom he graciously shares with the world every day.

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About the Author

Staff

Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

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