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Penn State-Inspired Baby Name Ideas

Choosing a name for your little one can carry quite a bit of pressure. After all, they’ll carry this name from their hospital bracelet all the way to their gravestone. So screw your Great-Aunt Margaret — name your bundle of joy after something that actually matters: Penn State.

If you or someone you know bleeds blue and white and has a bun in the oven, you’re in luck! Here are some of our favorite baby name suggestions inspired by Dear Old State.

For The Lucky Parents Having Twins — Bloop And Whoop

First and foremost, RIP to the Bloop and Whoop. Now is the perfect time to name your twins after the cultural artifacts that were the Blue and White CATABUS loops. Pay homage to the many rowdy trips downtown with this unique set of names. Plus, they’re pretty darn cute.

For The Former Pollock Halls Resident — Polly

This one is perfect for people who want to add just a subtle Penn State flare to their tiny tot’s name. It’s not super ~out there~, but it still shows some Nittany Lion pride. If you want to get super fancy, try adding one of the residence halls as a middle name. How cute does Polly Hartranft sound? Absolutely adorable.

For The Willard Preacher Simp — Willy

This is a classic with a twist. Will and Willy are usually short for William, so why not spice things up by naming your little guy Willard? Just imagine how happy the Willard Preacher would be if you told him you were naming your child after him.

For The Affluent Alumni — LionCash

All right, this one is actually pretty good. I feel like if Kim Kardashian were a die-hard Penn State fan, this would be the name she’d choose. I just know that if you named your child LionCash, they would end up on Wall Street. The name simply radiates power and success.

For The Parents Who Loved Splurging On Lunch At The HUB — Hubert

This is another great option for parents who want to add just a sprinkle of Penn State culture to their baby’s name. However, if you want to put more of an emphasis on the HUB-Robeson Center, try playing with capitalization. Little HUBert will be the coolest kid in school.

For The Findlay Commons Fan — Finn

Every time you look at your little kiddo you’ll be reminded of Grilled Chicken Thigh Halal and Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes. Is there a better origin story than that?

For The Former THON Dancers: BeTHONy

Another spicy twist on a classic name. This unique spelling is just enough to let everyone know about your Happy Valley roots. Capitalization is extremely effective for this one as well. In a brawl of one singular BeTHONy against 100 Bethanys, BeTHONy would walk away unscathed (For The Kids, of course).

For The Penn State Football Fanatic — Ken

Sure, you could take the easy route and name your son or daughter after a player, but where’s the fun in that? Only Penn State football super fans would know that Ken’s is the brand of ranch dressing that comes with a coveted Beaver Stadium chicken basket. All I can say is that I’m jealous my parents didn’t think of this before naming me.

Even if you’re not expecting anytime soon, do yourself a favor and bookmark this list now for future reference. Forget traditional names! College-inspired baby names are the next big thing, and you don’t want to miss out. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be reminded of the good ol’ days every time they changed a soiled diaper or cleaned up some baby barf?

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About the Author

Grace Cunningham

Grace is a senior advertising major and Onward State’s social media manager. She is also a co-host of our podcast, Podward State. Like a good New Jerseyan, Grace denounces Snooki and Pennsylvania bagels. However, she loves pranks, the Yankees, and Cake Boss highlight reels. You can follow her on Twitter @gecunningham7 or send videos of babies doing funny stuff to [email protected]

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