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Overheard At Penn State’s Walk-Up Coronavirus Testing Sites

While getting a coronavirus test is a serious occasion with some obvious and serious ramifications, it can often be a funny moment for students as well.

Whether folks are trying to figure out if they actually have the virus or trying to plan life in quarantine, students say the darndest things.

Here are a few of the best things we’ve overheard at Penn State’s walk-up coronavirus testing sites.

Girl who has her chakras aligned: “I’m testing negative. I’m gonna manifest this shit.”

Guy who cannot test positive: “I drank water beforehand to try and fuck with my results.”

Suitemate trying to think ahead: “Big brain moment…What if we all get COVID? We can still have a party. If you’re COVID-negative, you’re not allowed in.”

Girl who doesn’t quite understand quarantining: *finishes test* “Wanna go to the gym later?”

Girl on the phone: “She tested negative twice. It turned out she just had mono.”

Guy about to walk into Pegula: “Are you coming Friday?”

His friend: “Depends how this test goes.” 

Probably an engineering major: “Would vodka sterilize the COVID?”

Guy having a small panic attack: “I accidentally threw my barcode out.”

Guy wearing a fraternity t-shirt: *coughs* “I’m definitely positive, bro.”

His friend: “You never know…”

Someone who thought they were immune to the virus: “It was going well…then last weekend happened.”

Someone with friends in Bloomington: “She literally flew to Indiana to stay with him for the game. That’s where she caught COVID.”

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About the Author

Ryan Parsons

Ryan is a redshirt senior majoring in business and journalism from "Philadelphia" and mostly writes about football nowadays. You can follow him on Twitter @rjparsons9 or say hi via email at [email protected]

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